Mistakes to Avoid Having a Difficult Conversation

In 2015, Fast Company Magazine ran an article about the top six mistakes managers make when having difficult conversations. The mistakes can be made by anyone not just managers.  It these mistakes are avoided, they can help the individuals involved prevent or better manage a conflict situation.

1. Approaching the conversation from a negative place

Avoid going into the conversation thinking that it’s going to be difficult. Prepare for the conversation by setting an emotional intention for the discussion. Ask what you want the person to feel. If you’re delivering negative feedback, you may want the other person to leave the conversation feeling hopeful. Setting an emotional intention will help to shape your tone and delivery.

2. Avoiding the conversation

The longer you wait, the worse [the problem] is going to get. The most respectful and productive thing to do is to confront the situation head-on and avoid wasting time.

3. Responding with the same emotion

No one likes to receive bad news, but managers can make the situation worse by mimicking employees’ emotions. Accept that they might get angry, or they might cry, but avoid getting triggered by these emotions.  Be prepared for emotional responses but don’t let them throw you off balance.

4. Delivering bad news by email

Don’t retreat behind the safety of their computer screen and send out an email. Confront the individual face-to-face. E-communication can negatively affect the entire culture of the organization causing the employee to lose respect for the leader and making the leader look weak.

5. Trying to fill in the silence

A lull in the conversation can be uncomfortable. Honor the sacred pause and allow the individual to process the information they’ve been told. When you tell someone something they didn’t know, there’s always this pause [before] the emotional reaction. Allow their brain to make sense of what you’ve just told them. Take a breath, let them process, and then let them talk.

6. Rushing to get it over with

Resist the urge to convey your message, breathe a sigh of relief and say, "Okay, we’re good now, thank you." How can you be sure the message you wanted to convey has been received? No matter how difficult or uncomfortable the conversation makes you feel, avoid rushing it. Allow the receiver to respond, ask questions and get clarification before moving on.

Source:  http://www.fastcompany.com/3038997/difficult-conversations/the-top-6-mistakes-managers-make-when-having-difficult-conversations

Disruption and Innovation

Necessity is the mother of invention to quote an old proverb. Disruption in business should be the mother of preparedness, creativity and innovation. Consider some scenarios:

·      Disruption by natural disasters – When Hurricane Isabel was threatening to hit Virginia’s Hampton Roads area in 2003, a company made the conscious decision to suspend its data center operations in nearby Virginia Beach and transfer them to Florida, which was already out of harm’s way. By doing so, they avoided impending business disruption and assured their employees’ safety.

·      Disruption by man-made disasters – Post September 11, 2001, financial services firm Cantor Fitzgerald, was able to recover and rebuild corporate capabilities because of the mirror site established at its data center in Rochelle Park, NJ.

Disasters are not the only type of disruptions organizations face. Disruptions occur in the business cycle and leaders have to be prepared for them as well. Case in point is the impact that companies such as Uber and Lyft are having on the taxi industry.  These companies are luring both customers and drivers from the taxi companies, redefining transportation services. The disruption they are causing is wider and deeper. The taxi medallion has guided the industry in New York City since the 1930s. Anyone wanting to drive a cab had to own or rent a medallion. The market restriction and privileges of owning one lead to their astronomical value – $1.05M in 2013.  Along comes Uber, taxis are no longer the exclusive transportation service, and the medallion value has now dropped to approximately $850K. How does this disruption get deeper? The assets of Progressive Credit Union in New York City, among others, are secured by taxi medallions.  They’ve seen their incomes decrease and provisions for loan losses increase in 2015 as the taxi industry they serve struggles to survive economic and technological changes. One disruption has impacted two industries.

As a leader today it’s important to not only anticipate the impact of potential disruption, but to cause disruption.  That’s right, become a disruptors. To do so:

·      Amplify your strengths. Where are you above the competition today—what are your organization’s strengths?  How can you shore them up and profit from your core?

·      Redefine your business. Describe the business and the markets you’re in today. Now, if you were to redefine the business or market to create new opportunities for growth, how would you do it? What are the implications?

·      Embrace value innovation. What are clients’/customers’ frustrations and complaints? How can you respond to these unmet needs?

·      Leverage digital. What is your digital footprint? Can customers find you on-line and on mobile devices? Are you using analytics to make decisions?

As you begin to identify disruptive ideas, evaluate them. Determine where the ideas falls today and what it would take to move it to the next level.

·      Are the ideas incremental – optimizing existing products for existing customers?

·      Are the ideas next generation – expanding from existing business into new products or services to offer customers and clients?

·      Are the ideas breakaway – products and services for markets that don’t yet exist?

Disruptive leaders build the business of tomorrow. They are focused on things that generate innovation and creativity. They are mindful. They encourage relationships with others. They listen and embrace other’s ideas. Disruptive and Innovative leaders move from discovery to execution.

Everyday People - Recognizing Diversity

The lyrics to Sly Stone’s song still have relevance today as they did in 1968.  Race relations and affirmative action important social and political issues then and now.  Yet Sly Stone’s lyrics from the sixties were about a much broader concept.  He sung about the dimensions of diversity.  He sang about people of all different colors, shapes and sizes.  He sang about people of different beliefs, different groups, different occupations, different social classes, different generations, and different races.

The primary dimensions of diversity are generally those that we have no control over and that are generally obvious to others.  Colors, shape, size, age, and race, are some of the dimensions that can be found in the song.  Secondary dimensions are those that we generally have control over and that are not necessarily obvious to others – our beliefs, our occupation, our social class, other groups, such as a rock ' n roll band that we may choose to join.

Diversity is about uniqueness. Diversity is what makes each and every one of us a unique individual. We each possess unique characteristics and qualities that we bring and contribute to the organization for which we work.

Diversity relates to people's values. Diversity also relates to an organizations values. Individuals want to work in an environment where others care about them and where they feel accepted and respected.  Diversity is also about also cultural variables.  Despite the fact that we live in a world that is global, the cultural variables that are part of each of our lives so often overlooked.

All of these differences are expansive. No wonder we have disagreements in the workplace.  We need to understand differences. We can begin by understanding our own diversity and how we shape our own points of views and ideas – our own story. Understanding your own story prepares you to be open to different perspectives and ideas. Learn more about the other person so you have an opportunity to stand in their shoes. Engage in respectful curiosity. Look past differences, barriers and noise and give the other person the chance to be understood. Keep in mind that people have different communication styles. Some are direct while others share information in a roundabout way. As you engage in these conversations, remember to:

·       Be authentic and find ways of communicating that allows yourself to be known and get to know others.

·       Model behavior that includes respect for others, their opinions, interests, perceptions, values, experiences, and culture.

·       Address differences and misunderstandings with a commitment to learning and resolving disagreements in a respectful and timely way.

·       Communicate clearly, directly, and honestly.

·       Encourage others to share their thoughts and experiences, and accept their frame of reference.

When we understand differences we can celebrate excellence and uniqueness.  When we do this, we recognize that diversity has a place and affects all aspects of the organization – learning, resource allocation, product development and innovation, leadership integrity all of which affect the bottom line.

How much time do you spend attending meetings?  Most likely, more than you’d like! I hear people ask when the work is supposed to get done if all we do is attend meetings.  There are all-employee meetings, staff meetings, departmental meetings, task force meetings, and sometimes we have meetings to plan the next meeting!  Meetings are out of control!

 Here are nine quick tips for more productive meetings:

1  1. Develop organizational meeting ground rules such as “we start and end meetings on time”  “everyone has an equal voice in meetings” “one person speaks at a time”—post the ground rules in every conference room.  Then, follow your meeting ground rules!
2.     Before you call a meeting, determine if it is needed. Could the information be shared via email or do you really need people there in person?
3.     Invite the right people to the meeting.  If someone isn’t directly involved in the decision or doesn’t have information no one else has, consider not including them but let them know why. Odds are they will be thrilled to have extra time available!
4.     Always have an agenda and assign times to each topic. Send the agenda out ahead of time so people can come prepared.  Have a timekeeper to help the facilitator stay on schedule.  The agenda should start with the most important topic to allow for maximum time available (and this should get people there on time!)
5.     Your agenda should include reviewing the action items from the last meeting. to ensure things get done. One of your ground rules might be that an action item can’t be carried over more than twice.
6.     If you as the leader want to actively participate in the meeting, consider asking someone else to be the facilitator. The facilitator keeps the meeting on target and ensures that everyone participates. It is very hard to participate and facilitate.
7.     Assign someone to be the note taker who will get the minutes out within the agreed upon time (48 hours after the meeting or whatever works for your organization and is outlined in your meeting ground rules).
8.     The facilitator should ensure everyone participates. If you’ve done your job and you have the right people at the meeting, everyone should be ready to participate but remember, introverts don’t tend to speak up unless asked or they’ve had time to process the information. Don’t over look them—they may have the solution you’ve been looking for!
9.     Try some new kinds of meetings. Consider the stand up meeting which tend to be productive and quick. These don’t work if you have a long agenda but can be very effective when there is one decision to be made. 

Consider a “walking meeting”.  Let people know ahead of time that the meeting will be held on a walk around your building or in your neighborhood.  Remind people to dress appropriately for the weather.  Walking is healthy and research at Stanford University reported that people can be 60% more creative when in a walking meeting.  The ideal number of participants is 2-4 people so that you listen to each other’s ideas.  If you’re going to need a white board, a walking meeting isn’t for you but if not, consider the benefits of helping your employees who sit a lot, get out and do something that is good for them!  This trend is so popular that there is a Ted Talk on walking meetings!  Check it out!