Celebrating Collaboration

Divisiveness. Acrimony. Partisanship. Unfortunately, these are terms that describe the state of our government. Can these issues be overcome? Is there room in Washington for collaboration? We may not be able to answer these questions or solve these issues, but there are things you can do to assure your organization isn’t described in these terms and instead is celebrating collaboration. 

Before our writing partnership began, Barbara and I had worked together on smaller projects.  We recognized we worked differently and at different paces. If we were to succeed, we had to stay out of each other’s way. We had to trust and respect each other’s knowledge, expertise and work styles. We knew that we had to build on each other’s strengths. We were a team and collaboration was a key component our writing process.

Are teams in your organization collaborating?  The key to collaboration is being inclusive, getting rid of the noise, and being mindful, thoughtful and purposeful. What are the signs that teams are collaborating? Inclusive teams:

• Have structured opportunities for sharing
• Have opportunities to teach each other
• Are flexible regarding differing needs and preferences
• Eliminate barriers to communication 
• Establish ground rules
• Explain unwritten rules to new members
• Value differences
• Work toward mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict
• Honor time limits
• Assure that everyone participates and no one dominates
• Listen as allies
• Celebrate small successes
• Are considerate and respect time and each other

Writing a book is a major endeavor and after we finished our first, The Big Book of HR, we were both excited at how it all came together. We were not only proud of our end result, but we gained a renewed appreciation for the other.  We genuinely enjoyed working with each other, even during the stressful points in the process. In fact, we enjoyed it so much, we went on to write more books together:

The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook

The Big Book of HR – Revised & Expanded Edition – coming in May 2017

The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book – coming in the fall of 2017 

Considering that we write in Northern Virginia, right outside “the Beltway” that surrounds Washington, DC, we often think how wonderful it would be if we could instill in our good friends “inside the Beltway ”the importance of collaboration as a key component in the process of governing!

Dancing and Leading in the Dark

In traditional ballroom dancing when couples pair up, the man is the leader. I know that statement has some inherent flaws in 2017. For example, what if a same-sex couple is dancing, then who leads? Who made the rule that men always lead in a dance anyway? These are valid objections, but for the moment, let’s stay with the “tradition” – right or wrong.

Last year my husband and I were invited to a dance party sponsored by a local dance studio. The evening included a dance lesson for the attendees – all happened to be traditional, heterosexual couples. The lesson began with the couples lining up – men in one line and women in the other. After practicing basic moves with the partner you arrived with, the men were asked to switch to the next woman in the line for the next set – just as my husband and I were getting into a rhythm. This switching continued every five or ten minutes. 

It was interesting practicing with different partners and it took some serious concentration. Not every partner was as comfortable as the last, and one was particularly challenging for me. He towered over my five-foot frame and danced with a bravado and gusto that matched his over six-foot frame. He’d twirl me out at arm’s length– his arm’s length, not mine – causing me to almost twist my knee on a number of occasions. I noticed that his wife was much taller than me – almost equal in height to him – so these moves must have worked well for them. They certainly didn’t for me. He was making no effort to adjust to a new partner.

Ken Blanchard and Paul Hersey based their situational leadership model on the theory that instead of using just one style, successful leaders change their leadership styles based on factors such as the situation, the details of the task, and their relationships with the people they are leading. This means that a good leader will take a different approach to fit the situation or task or when they are working with different individuals. I wished that my challenging dance partner had applied this theory when he danced with me. While the task (dancing) didn’t change, his partner (me) and the situation (my height versus his wife’s height) did and he didn’t take the opportunity to assess these changes nor adjust his style. I graciously excused myself before the set was over. In a business setting, this might not have been possible. 

Recently we attended an event entitled “Dancing in the Dark” to support The Foundation for Blindness.  After dinner, attendees were invited to a group dance lesson where they danced while blindfolded. While I appreciate the challenges that the visually impaired face, after my last experience with a group dance lesson, I was skeptical about dancing in the dark with a stranger – especially when neither of us can assess the situation and make adjustments. I’d like the opportunity to introduce myself to each new partner and provide some details about my physical characteristics. This would certainly provide the opportunity to assess the new situation and the individual involved. 

While dancing in the dark may be an interesting experiment to educate the sighted world about the reality in which the visually impaired live, leaders can’t be “in the dark” when they lead. They have to be informed of the facts and aware of the situations and the people around them if they want to be effective. They have to know who and what they are leading!

Leaders can’t make assumptions without the facts. I admit, I was guilty of this when I assumed I’d have to dance in the dark with strangers. It turns out that I danced with my husband while, like everyone else dancing, bumping into other couples on the dance floor. And the experience was “eye-opening!”

Follow Your Dreams

Did you see the recent story of the seven-year-old Chloe Bridgewater from the UK who sent a handwritten letter to the "Google Boss"? She said she wanted to work at Google but also in a chocolate factory and "do swimming in the Olympics." She shared that she's good with computers and is "very good in class and good at spelling and reading and my sums." She thanked him for reading her letter and said the only other letter she'd ever sent was to Father Christmas!

Her letter was amazing for a seven-year-old, but that's not the best part of this story!

Sundar Pichai, CEO of Google, answered her letter, saying in part, "I think if you keep working hard and following your dreams, you can accomplish everything you set your mind to do-from working at Google to swimming at the Olympics." He said he looked forward to receiving her application to work at Google when she's finished with school. How wonderful that Mr. Pichai took the time to encourage this child when he told her "follow your dreams."

This story made me think about the importance of encouraging people, including kids, to dream big. I know a lot of people who had big dreams as children and some who still hold on to those dreams. But what happens to most of our childhood dreams? Reality sets in and we make decisions that take us farther and farther from our dreams.

What if we could do better as a society and help our kids, like Chloe, reach their dreams? What if we not only encouraged our kids to dream big but our grown-up employees as well?

If you haven't seen the Oscar-nominated film Hidden Figures, please see it! I'm delighted that schools across the US are taking kids to see it as a field trip. It is the "incredible untold story of Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson – brilliant African-American women working at NASA, who served as the brains of one of the greatest operations in history – the launch of astronaut John Glenn into orbit." The movie brings to life the story told beautifully by Margot Lee Shetterly in her book Hidden Figures. These women certainly followed their dreams and helped change the world, and look what they accomplished without a lot of support from people around them.

Who works for you or who do you know who could use a word of encouragement today to follow their dreams? Maybe there's something you've always wanted to do yourself, so here's a word of encouragement from me to you! Go for it and let us know what happens!

You Can't Factor Out Judgment

I spent a great deal of my HR career working in employee relations.  People continue to fascinate me and I'm amazed at what I continue to learn.  Consider the following:

Two employees were caught drinking a six-pack of beer during their meal break in a van parked in the company parking lot.  The company had a clear policy regarding the consumption of alcohol on the premises.  One of the employees had a long tenure with the company along with a long history of disciplinary actions.  If discipline, which comes from the word disciple, means to teach, he hadn’t learned anything.  He did not make an attempt to change his behavior despite the company’s efforts to help.  The second employee had a shorter tenure, two to three years.  This was his first policy violation.  The first employee was terminated, but the second was suspended without pay for five days.  When the first employee cried foul, we only had to produce his record which showed that the company had tried to work with him over the years.

Managing employees is an art, not a science.  More importantly, it’s not a sport or a game.  What doesn’t work is an approach or “algorithm” that shows if this happens, than that is the action you have to take, or as someone once asked me, “Don’t you have a three-strikes and you’re out model for dealing with performance or behavior issues?”

Not every situation is going to fit into the same neat, tidy package.  It is critical to consider of all the issues and facts before making a decision and judgment cannot be factored out of the decision-making process. Not all situations are the same and not all employees are the same. 

While managers can’t expect a perfect algorithm for making employee decisions, employees can’t expect to have everything spelled out for them – like the employee who once said during a disciplinary meeting, “No one ever told me I couldn’t do that.”  They too must exercise some judgment.  Employee accountability is the second critical factor in the equation. 

Policies should be management guidelines and not “cookbooks”.   Managers need to recognize that while they must be consistent in their approach to managing people, they have a say in the decision-making process.  Their judgment matters.  Don’t expect to treat everyone “equally”, because not all situations and circumstances are equal.  You can’t expect to treat a long-tenured employee with a good record, who happens to have a few missteps, the same as you would treat someone who had been with the company a short time and managed to build a disciplinary and negative performance history quickly. 

Treat everyone with fairness and respect and most importantly, don’t factor judgment out of the process.