Listening isn't Easy

Listening is probably the most misunderstood communication process we use.  Your manager is right to suggest you improve your skills. It takes some work, focus, and patience but it can be done. And, your better listening skills will not only be useful at work, they will help you with any relationship!

Let’s start with what listening isn’t—it’s not, when the other person is talking, waiting for your turn to talk.  If that’s your approach to listening, that means you probably aren’t even hearing what the other person is saying—you’ve focused on preparing what you’re going to say when they finish!

Listening takes concentration and it is hard work for most of us.  We spend a lot of time in school learning how to read and write, but little time on how to listen.  A good listener makes a deliberate effort to understand the other person’s message.  A good listener listens to learn, is interested in what the speaker is saying and lets the speaker know they’re listening.

If you’re serious about being a better listening, consider what’s called “active listening.”  It’s the most powerful way to capture the entire message the speaker is attempting to convey.  Here’s how it works:

While the speaker is talking, the active listener encourages the speaker to share by nodding, maintaining eye contact, a raised eyebrow, or a smile.  These cues let the speaker know you hear them and want to know more.  However, you have to really mean it—if you aren’t sincere, the speaker will probably not want to continue to talk to you!

Another active listening technique is to paraphrase what you heard the speaker say.  “I heard you say that my department needs to respond more positively to requests from your staff. “  Then, if that’s not what the speaker intended, the information can be clarified—but they will know you were listening!

As you work to improve your listening skills, consider what gets in your way. Maybe it is that you’re distracted by external noise or other people. If so, when you find yourself in that situation, ask the speaker if you can move to a quieter location.  Maybe the timing is bad—you’re on a tight deadline and can’t focus.  Ask if you can postpone the discussion until you can give it full attention.  Maybe the speaker uses words or phrases you don’t understand—ask for clarification. Listening is such a critical skill, that we devoted a whole chapter to the subject in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook.

As John Marshall, former Chief Justice of the Supreme Court said, “To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well.”

The Gift of Rain

I sat in the green tunnel shaped by the trees in my yard, under the cover of a deck awning listening to the sounds of the rain and the birds. The rain brought a fresh smell. The birds were frolicking among the tree branches and rain drops. I’d catch a glimpse of one opening its beak and drinking in the fresh water – just like I was drinking in the tranquility of the moment.

Rain – it brings the water that sustains all living things – humans, birds, other animals and plants – plants that feed us all and allow us to thrive. A Native American man in the Southwest, where rain and water are scarce, once told me how his culture celebrated the rain when it came because rain is the source of life. 

A farmer I know once wrote that February is the month of the plow if you’re a farmer who tills the soil. Even though there is still a bit of freezing left to be done, plowed land benefits from the freezing and thawing action.  Even better is the opportunity to plow in fresh snow which has the effect of fertilizer on the land. The gift of rain – it keeps giving and helping the Earth to thrive.

Agriculture, like any other business enterprise, is challenged with issues of nurturing and sustaining resources so the business and the people who depend on it can grow and thrive. My farmer friend often writes about organic agriculture – addressing the current trend and requests for organically grown food – meat and vegetables. He laments that organic agriculture takes more time and more people, and the community of people he grew up with in the field are all gone. He has no one to pass his knowledge to. Of the many interns he has had, only one went on to farm on their own – the rest went on to work behind a desk which speaks to the actual education they received. Like any industry, good agriculture needs good people – people who understand the role that nature plays.  

Developing people so they can help a business thrive is a challenge faced by every industry. It’s such an important topic, that we devoted not a chapter, but an entire section to it in The Big Book of HR. The first step in employee development should be assessing employee development needs. This can be done through a number of methods, such as reviewing prior performance appraisals or conducting interviews and focus groups to name just a few. Next we discuss the best approaches for employee development. We explore various training approaches, mentoring, and other development methods. Coaching is so critical to employee development that we devoted an entire chapter to this topic. Finally, in our latest revised and expanded edition, we explore the emerging trends in performance management so organizations can design programs that meet their needs. 

Many of us are so fortunate to have grown in professional communities where we were surrounded with great mentors, like my farmer friend. We understand the role that people play in organizations. We need to pass that wisdom along!

The Second Edition

The revised and expanded edition of The Big Book of HR was published last month. Some of you are probably thinking, “Are you nuts to have taken on this endeavor?” Yes, no, not really!

Anyone who manages people in today’s challenging world knows that it hasn’t gotten easier – just more complicated, and, for that matter, more interesting.  We revised The Big Book of HR to reflect some of the new realities leaders and managers face. The following is just a sample of some of the things that have changed.

Workplace Flexibility: The prevalence of flexible work arrangements – flextime, telework, shift flexibility – continues with the types of programs offered varying to meet the needs of the individual organizations.  We explore these along with the more innovative approaches to flexibility and work-life integration that are occurring at companies such as The Virgin Group (unlimited vacation) and Netflix (unlimited parental leave and full pay in the first year after the birth or adoption of a child).

Performance Management: Performance appraisals are being scrutinized as some organizations move to abandon traditional performance appraisals in favor of more flexible approaches. We look at the traditional approach as well as the emerging trends and discuss differences and similarities.

Incentive Compensation: Start-up firms in the technology sector, which are nimble and flexible, are disrupting many established practices. Taking their lead, employers are turning to variable pay, a type of incentive compensation, to reward employees as salary budgets continue to be relatively flat and low, and to attract and retain younger workers. We explore the pros and cons of these approaches and how they affect different segments of the workforce.

Technology: Even on the people side, the use of technology has revolutionized how we lead and manage our businesses. It’s impacted how recruiting is done, how training and development programs are delivered in a geographically dispersed workforce, and how meetings and communications are conducted. We explore the challenges and opportunities for managing people in a world so influenced by technology.

People Analytics: Google has been a leader in the area of using data to make good decisions on issues relating to their employees. With technology enabling us to make better decisions based on information rather than what feels like the “right thing to do,” we discuss how good data – which is readily available – is being used.

The Gig Economy: More individuals are working as independent contractors, freelancers, or temporary workers. Whether it’s by choice or necessity, the trend is growing.  This is disrupting the existing social contract with workers that was designed for an industrial workforce. We look at the interesting suggestions being made at changing that contract and the way people are paid and receive benefits.

See how the revised and expanded edition of The Big Book of HR can help you manage people in our changing world. Itis available from major booksellers everywhere.  

Barbara Mitchell & Cornelia Gamlem

A Day in the Life

At a Writers' Digest Conference Barbara and I attended, a writer (translate: someone who receives royalty checks on a regular, steady basis from writing) was asked what his day was like.  It went something like this: breakfast, take the kids to school, back to the home office to write for the morning, lunch, gym in the afternoon (a by-product of that, it increases endorphins) then into the office for a while.  Another writer talked about watching movies on TV.  She has to convince her husband she's working when she does it—she’s studying characters!  When she's blocked, she does laundry.  It clears her mind, gives her a chance to reboot, and makes her feel that she is being productive. 

Not too many years ago, managers in organizations would have been shocked, outraged to learn that their workers who telecommute didn’t spend their days “chained” to their computers and “working” just as industrial workers were tied to the factory for the workday. Doing laundry, exercising, watching TV (it can be a distraction when you work alone) were considered shameful, disgraceful and outrageous. 

Anyone who's ever worked in a traditional office environment can attest to how much time workers are capable of wasting.  Gossip around the water cooler or break room, folks dropping by to chat, smoke breaks, coffee breaks, and oh yes, surfing the Internet in the office.  Having experienced both corporate life and independent consultant's life, I can attest that I'm much more productive working from a home office.

Beyond productivity, the way we work today is more fluid. Work and productivity no longer need to take place in a fixed place or at a fixed time. When we were an agrarian society, the lines around home and work were nonexistent. People worked and lived on their farms, and there were no schedules. Nature often dictated when tasks were done. During the Industrial Revolution, workers moved from the farm to the factory. Laws and rules evolved to regulate work and work schedules. Now the Information Age is once again transforming the way we work as workers are moving from the office back home, and the lines between work and home are getting blurred. We’ve come full circle.

As technology has made it easier to work remotely, workplace flexibility is becoming a reality for organizations. In today’s competitive environment, flexibility and a culture that encourages balance between personal and business obligations is an advantage in attracting and retaining the best employees. Smart organizations recognize that allowing their employees flexibility when possible increases their loyalty to the company and is a good retention strategy. Technology also has provided tools to determine if work – meaning results – is occurring. Managers should be taking advantage of these tools. 

Workers have lives and during their daily 8 to 5 routines, they need to have the time to take care of their business and not be "chained" to their desks or workstations. That’s why we devoted an entire chapter in The Big Book of HR to Workplace Flexibility and examined the latest trends.