The words in the letter which was laying on my desk leapt out at me. “It’s imperative that you complete and return the enclosed form as soon as possible. Failure to do so will have [dire consequences].” Okay, I’m exaggerating just a bit, but the appeal to provide certain information and a particular form struck me as somewhat harsh. It was more of directive than a request. Even though the information request was reasonable, my immediate reaction was to retreat and say no! I knew that wouldn’t have solved anything. However, I couldn’t help but thinking that the message would have been much more positive had the writer said “We appreciate your attention to this and please return the form as soon as possible.”
Have you ever been in this situation where someone’s words don’t meet the situation or elicit the wrong response or reaction from you? Have you ever been in the situation where the right words don’t come to you, or they just come out wrong? We certainly have. So when our publisher approached us about writing another book – The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book – it didn’t take us long to say yes.
There are so many positive ways to say things, even in a negative situation. At times, you may only have one opportunity to ask a question or share your opinion or solution, but no matter how hard you try, you don’t know what to say—so you don’t say anything at all. That’s when you just need a prompt to help formulate your thoughts and help the words come out right.
No, you can’t plan for every conversation or confrontation. There are times when something unexpected happens, but there are also many times you initiate or anticipate a difficult conversation and that’s where The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book can help.
Nobody wants to go into a potentially difficult situation fumbling for words. Instead of shying away from such a conversation, you can use The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book to prepare for a situations or conversations you suspect will be difficult. Becoming familiar with phrases can spark a useful thought or give you the words you need to feel more confident and prepared. It can help you be ready with your own words and language – words with which you’re comfortable and which feel right to you.
Words really do matter. Having the right words on hand empowers you. The more you use and practice using positive language, the stronger the habit will become and it will be less likely that you will want to flee from a difficult situation.
The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book is now available for pre-order from Amazon – http://tinyurl.com/y7je7z9l – with a publication date of September 18, 2017. We’re excited about this new book which is a natural complement to The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook. We know you’re going to find it to be a valuable resource.
Cornelia & Barbara
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