A Wooden Bowl & Dignity

Early on a Saturday evening last fall I answered a knock on the door. Standing there in his Cub Scout leader’s uniform, holding his infant son in one arm was our neighbor, Zeeshan. His 4-year old daughter was gleefully by his side. In his other hand he held out a wooden bowl. “Do you recognize this?” he asked, indicating the bowl. I didn’t. “It came from your tree,” he said.

He had crafted the bowl from a piece of wood from a dead tree we had removed this summer. "Now you can always remember your tree," he said. I was so touched by his loving gesture of kindness!

What did I know about him? He practices a religion different than mine, he was born in a different county (as were my paternal grandparents and my husband’s father), his hobby is wood crafting and carpentry (he made the cabinets when they remodeled their kitchen), he’s a loving father involved in his children’s activities, and he’s a good neighbor who cares about the community in which we all live. Our differences are not problems, they are strengths.

The forces that battled discrimination for decades won a major battle in 1964 with the signing of the Civil Rights Act. That law had eleven sections and prohibited discrimination in voting, public accommodations, public facilities, public education, federally-funded programs, and employment – the section with which I’m most familiar and engaged in the workplace. The Act was the culmination of efforts to gain protection for the basic citizenship rights of African American. In employment it prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex and national origin. Subsequent legislation was enacted to protect older Americans and people with disabilities.

While the Act outlawed discrimination, it didn’t eliminate it. Discrimination must be eliminated because it’s an affront to our differences and our dignity.  On January 21, 2017, both Barbara and I marched in Washington DC. The next day I found myself reflecting on one question, “Why did I march?”

Why did I march? There are many reasons why I felt it was important to be there, but most importantly I marched to defend and preserve decency and dignity which I've witnessed eroding in our society recently.

-       The dignity of women

-       The dignity of individuals with disabilities

-       The dignity of people of all religions

-       The dignity of people who immigrated to this country to seek a better way of life

-       The dignity of journalists and scientists who work in noble professions and seek the truth

-       The dignity of all human beings regardless of their various dimensions of diversity

I marched because defending our human rights and dignity is the moral thing to do. 

Dignity.  It was symbolized in that wooden bowl.

Dignity.  It’s about making people matter in our workplaces and throughout the world today.

It’s Cloudy Out There

I entered a local eatery recently and approached the station for placing orders. A gentleman was standing in front of me, but off to the side, so I inquired if he was in line. He said he was, and then apologized for standing there slouching. “My mother always told me not to slouch,” he said. This led us to a conversations about things our mothers told us not to do, and other words of wisdom our generation learned from an older generations.

His turn came, he went to place his order. As the next cashier became available, a young woman walked past me and usurped my rightful turn.  The cashier, who knows me by name and witnessed what happened quickly apologized as I signaled her to go ahead with that order. She later rewarded my patience with a free cookie – but that’s not my point.

The young woman who took my place in line was so engrossed in her smartphone that she oblivious to her surroundings. Not only that, she was not a witness to her own behavior. Fortunately, she only walked in front of me rather than in front of a car that someone was driving. Her behavior shouted to me because of two different events I’d attended the day before. As I ate my lunch, I couldn’t help but ponder it further.

The morning event was a discussion about the importance of self-awareness for leaders. This quickly evolved into the role it plays in all our lives – the depth and breadth of your awareness and importance of being present. The topic of peripheral vision somehow emerged and one participant shared the difficultly he had teaching his children to drive. He commented that he came to realize that since they were so used to being focused on electronic devices, they had not developed the ability to view their surroundings with a wide-angle lens. 

The evening event was a discussion about civility in America. One of the topics that was explored by the panel, who included Lizzy Post – a millennial member of THE Post family – was entitlement versus empathy. They talked of entitlement in terms of individuals feeling entitled to be comfortable – to dress, talk, act the way that’s comfortable for them. If empathy is lacking – more precisely, the ability the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation:the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation:the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation:the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation:the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation:the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situationto share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it  like would be like to be in that person’s situation – incivility can quickly follow.

Millennials often are regarded as, or worse labeled as, “self-absorbed.” I don’t like labels because they imply stereotypes and stereotypes lead to bias. However, thinking about this young woman who took my place in line, it became evident why this notion of a self-absorbed generation originated. It’s the result of observed behavior. Behavior such as hers demonstrates a lack of awareness – not being present in the moment – which gets interpreted as a lack of consideration for others.

My mother always said that actions speak louder than words. She had a great deal of wise words.

My words of wisdom for this week to folks from any generation is to get you head out of The Cloud. Get grounded – not by spending your time looking down but by gaining more awareness of what’s happening around you.