#1: Conflict is always negative and should
be avoided at work.
Quite the contrary. When problems are hidden or
masked, they aren’t solved. They fester and grow into bigger problems. Workplace
conflict is often creativity and innovation trying to happen and savvy
organizations look for ways to embrace and optimize conflict. When people sit
down and talk, calmly and rationally, information and different viewpoints are
exchanged which can lead to innovative solutions and better working
relationships. Embrace the idea that conflict is essential in the workplace if
it’s part of a creative and engaged culture that wants the organization to grow
and thrive.
#2: Difficult people are almost always the
cause of conflict.
People’s behavior, not the individual, can cause
difficulty. While bad behavior is certainly a contributing cause of conflict,
it’s not the only cause. Lack of realistic expectations is a big contributor to
conflict. People need to know what their jobs entail and what success in their
individual role looks like. Change
is another contributing factor. Change is uncomfortable for many people – so
get ahead of it. To lessen the likelihood of conflicts from change, communicate
early and often.
#3: The problem at the root of a conflict
is usually obvious.
Too often people assume that they understand the
root cause of a problem and jump to conclusions. Getting to the source involves
dialogue, conversations and some detective work. There are a number of skills
and techniques that you have to employ: attending skills which put everyone on
an even level; encouraging skills enabled others to elaborate; clarifying
skills to reduce ambiguity and establish clarity; and reflecting skills that
allow the opportunity to restate in your own words what you’ve hear the other
person say. Get good information by varying the types of questions you ask,
such as open-ended questions, close-ended questions, fact-based questions or
opinion-based questions.
#4: In conflict, there are always winners
and losers.
This is true if you follow the theory of
position-based bargaining, but it won’t solve the problem or resolve the
conflict. A better approach is interest-based problem solving. When you focus
on interests – what’s best for everyone involved – it makes dialogue and
discussion central to resolution. Explaining interests and why they are
important creates an opportunity to stand in each other’s’ shoes and
contemplate the problem from a different viewpoint. It can uncover mutual interests
and values and helps everyone make more informed decisions.
#5: It’s a manager’s responsibility to
intervene and fix problems on her team.
Managers often find themselves trapped in the
middle of a situation involving members of their team – situations or issues
that are not theirs to solve, and a typical reaction is to intervene. Unless a
problem involves behavior or performance that needs to be addressed, a manager
doesn’t necessarily own it – the employees do. Employees need the freedom and
authority to solve problems that relate to their work, without a solution being
imposed on them. A guiding principal—in fact a golden rule—of conflict
resolution is that the problem should be solved by the individuals who own it.
