Hawks and Doves

This isn't a political commentary. It's a story. We came home from a weekend trip and entered the house through the garage. So didn't notice it right away, not until I opened the front door there it was. Bird features – a lot of them, some in clumps – all over the courtyard. I asked my neighbor, Fran, if they had noticed anything unusual. “It was a hawk murder,” she said. 

We have many doves in our new neighborhood who delight us with their cooing. Unfortunately the hawk, who’s been frequently spotted and shooed away by a frustrated Fran, knows about this dove population too. In the laws of nature, the hawk is a predator, and this weekend with no human residents around as a deterrent, a poor dove fell victim to his prey. We witnessed all the evidence in our courtyard. 

In the workplace, managers often have to contend with hawks, the aggressive and competing types, as well as doves, who are all about compromising, being cooperative, and finding peace.  While managers may have to mediate differences between these two, or other types, a manager should never tolerate predatory, aggressive and competing behavior from any type. That means no cutting sarcasm or thoughtless humor. No jokes at others expense. No dismissive behavior – ignoring colleagues input or talking over each other in meetings. 

Managers have the responsibility to address and stop disruptive workplace behavior.  Respectfully confront the individual engaging in such behavior and explain why it’s wrong. “You may intend that joke to be funny, but it’s belittling and demeaning.” And, let the individual know that the behavior has to stop. 

Don’t wait until you observe such behavior. Be proactive. Talk about disruptive behavior of all types – harassment and bullying are the extreme examples – in staff meetings. “Comments and jokes that take aim at others are not professional and don’t belong in the workplace.” Have open conversations about the organization’s policies and culture, listen to employee’s concerns and encourage everyone to speak up. This will not only support and maintain a positive culture, it will build your personal credibility. 

Can you speak up?

Living in the Southwest, I'm once again reminded that there are so many dimensions of diversity. 

An article in the Albuquerque Journal on May 4, 2018 caught my attention. It was about two Native American teens who had travelled to a city out of state for a college tour. During the tour they were pulled from the group by two police officers. A complaint had been made by the mother of another student who stated, according to the article, they were too quiet. The teens were the only minorities in the group of white teens and parents.

The incident made national and international news with allegations of discrimination, negative stereotyping and racial profiling. That’s not what this post is about. It’s about a comment made by one of the officers.  He was reported as saying to the teens mother, “Maybe it will be a lesson for your kids that when they’re in a public situation to speak up.” 

There are numerous dimensions of diversity that go well beyond the ones that are obvious, the ones that can be seen and observed, like race and sex. People have different work and personality styles – they can be introverts or extroverts. My reaction when I read the comment by the officer: Maybe they are both shy! Maybe they are introverts.

Management lesson:  Every team will have introverts.  In meetings, you want to encourage everyone to participate in discussions. But remember, introverts don’t tend to speak up. They may have to be asked. They may need time to process the information being shared. You sometimes have to be creative and draw them out, especially in a meeting situation.  

Get to know your team members and learn more about them and their preferred style. We all have our own comfort zones. If you learn some people are shy or intimidated speaking out in a meeting – respect that difference.  If some individuals tell you they like to have time to process information before offering solutions – respect that difference. Find out how they are comfortable contributing. Leave the door open to accepting suggestions – perhaps in person or via email – after the meeting has concluded.  Don’t overlook them – they may have the solution you’ve been looking for! 

Summer’s Here—Take a Real Break!

It appears that Americans are finally getting the message that taking time off is a good thing. We’ve all heard the statistics that tell us how many vacation days are unused annually and there has been a very slight decrease which means more people are actually taking the time off they’ve earned. Let’s be honest—it’s not just that we’ve earned the time off—it is that we NEED the time off. 

But, taking time off is just the beginning. How do we get people to actually disconnect from work? Most of us, even if we’re sitting on a beach and looking out at a beautiful ocean, lake or river, still check our email far too often. 

If you really want to disconnect, there are things you can do.

• Use the out of office feature on your email. Even if you plan to check messages from time to time, let people know that you will have limited access to email.
• Set one time a day to check your messages and stick to it.
• Lock your phone in the hotel safe if you can’t stop yourself from looking at it!
• If you need your phone to take pictures, keep your phone in airplane mode.

It’s not rocket science to understand that taking a real break from work can have real benefits toward your mental health. This may take some practice but give it a try! And, by the way, if you lock your phone up but keep your tablet by your side at all times, put it away as well!

When You Need Help at Work

Unfortunately, it happens to most of us. A personal crisis impacts us at work – our ability to focus and our ability to do quality work.  We don’t quite know what to do about it. We know this Does it make sense to ask for help or should we try to hide it and muddle through?

We all want to protect our privacy at work but if you find yourself in a personal situation, talk with your manager first. You don’t have to share everything but you should feel comfortable in letting your manager know that you have a personal issue that may require you to be gone from the workplace and also take your focus away from work even when you’re there. 

Hopefully, you’ve been a dependable employee who does good work so that you’ve built up a reserve of good will with your manager. I had a manager who said it’s like a bank account. You deposit money and then, when you need it, you can withdraw it.  Work, he said is the same—you do good work and contribute to the organization’s success and then, if you need time off or whatever, you’ve built up a reserve to draw upon.

Be clear about what you will need. It may be you need to work from home a day or two a week or some assistance with a deliverable with a tight deadline. Let your manager know what you think will be the most helpful and work it out so that the work gets done especially if you need to be away from work.

Do the same thing with trusted colleagues—you don’t have to share all the details but if you need help on a project, ask for it and of course, let your colleagues know how much you appreciate their support and that when you’re back to full capacity at work, you will be there for them. And support them if they need your help at some time!

Yes, we’re employees but we’re also human beings who need help from time to time.

Qualities of a Good Team Player

We talk a lot about team play in sports and marvel at how well they work together to win either a game or a  championship.  So how do we translate this to the world at work?

Here are seven tips for becoming a good team player—whether on the baseball diamond, the basketball court, or in the workplace!

1. A good team player keeps their commitments.  When you work on a team, by definition you depend on the other team members to get your work done so it is critical to hold up your end of the bargain.  Once a commitment is made to a project or any deliverable, you must complete your assigned tasks so that the deadline is met.  And, if you find you can’t hold up your end of the bargain, a good team player lets the rest of the team know in advance so other arrangements can be made.
2. A good team player supports the other members of the team.  This includes picking up the slack when someone has a family emergency or taking the time to sing the praises of a co-worker—just because it’s the right thing to do.  Supporting the work of others makes the entire team more successful. And, a good team member avoids gossiping about co-workers!
3. A good team player appreciates the work the others contribute and says thanks!  It can be highly meaningful to your co-workers to hear you say how much you value them and the work they do.  It also is a great idea to pass along praise to your manager as well.
4. A good team player handles the inevitable changes that occur with grace.  Deadlines and priorities are constantly shifting in today’s organizations.  Rather than fighting the change or complaining about what the change will do to your work or your life, accept it and move on.
5. A good team player consistently exceeds expectations which ensures that projects are successfully completed.
6. A good team player takes pride in the work they do but also in the accomplishments of others on the team.
7. A good team player works hard to increase their skill and/or knowledge.  A good team player is a continuous learner!

Teams are important. We dedicated a chapter to teams in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook. We’d love to hear your ideas on what makes a good team player so send them on and we’ll share them in future blogs.

The Eye’s in Investigations

The recent events in Washington surrounding the firing of FBI Director, James Comey, raised questions about the intent and integrity of ongoing investigations that the Bureau was actively conducting. While the average workplace investigation will generally not be the same size and scope of a government-led one, there are some similarities.

Intent.  Understand the intent of an investigation. An investigation is a search or examination of the facts that are used to reach a conclusion. It involves detailed inquiries and a systematic approach to gaining information. When an issue is raised involving a potential workplace violation – a violation of an employer’s policy – a thorough and prompt investigation should be conducted.  It should be conducted in a reasonable manner that demonstrates good faith. An investigation is not a witch hunt nor an exercise to justify a pre-determined management action.

Issues. Understand the issue or issues underlying the complaint. People bring many different perceptions to behavior that they observe in the workplace. Words such as harassment or discrimination frequently appear in the public press. If someone complains about discrimination, find out the basis for (e.g. age, race, sex, etc.) and the nature of (e.g. was it failure to promote because of gender, a poor performance appraisal because of race, or retaliation?) the claim.

Integrity. Assure the integrity of the investigator and the process used for conducting the investigation.  In choosing an investigator, consider everyone involved in the situation, including any witnesses. Make sure the potential investigator(s) have no interest in the outcome and can be objective. Have a process in place to conduct the investigation – don’t do it in a haphazard manner. In addition to who needs to be interviewed, consider the timing and sequence of the interviews, evidence that may exist to support the claim, and other internal resources that may need to be involved. Most important, maintain confidentiality of the people and the process.

Interviews. Conduct interviews in accordance with a consistent and thoughtful plan. Interview people directly involved and those with first-hand knowledge. Ask questions that focus on facts – who, what, when, where and why. Conduct the interviews in a confidential setting and in a relaxed manner – stressing that you’re role is to uncover the facts and not assign blame. Control the setting and avoid interruptions and distractions. Treat the interview as you would any other important business meeting. Additional insights about getting to the root of the problem can be found in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook.

Every investigation is unique and specific to its facts and circumstances. Plan accordingly.

Over a Cup of Coffee

Recently, I had the chance to chat with Greg Cellini about workplace conflict. He was interviewing me for his radio show “Thank God for Mondays” which broadcasts on WSOU in the New York City metropolitan area. I say I chatted with him because that’s what the half hour we spent together felt like – a conversation we were having over a cup of coffee.

I started my HR career as a recruiter, spending years perfecting the art of interviewing people.  As I moved through my career, I realized what a great asset it was. It has certainly come in handy since I started writing and giving interviews about my books!

What is an interview?  It's a conversation. It’s dialogue.  A great interview is the perfect conversation where information is exchanged.  I’ve found that the best interviews – no matter if I’m asking or answering the questions – have a sense of rhythm.  How can you tell if there’s rhythm to your conversations?

• There is a presence, a sense of being and staying in the moment with the other person(s).  I’ve chatted with Greg before, both times over the phone, yet there was the feel of sitting across the table from each other.

• They are comfortable.  When you take some time to build rapport in the beginning, you create a relaxed atmosphere, even when the conversation is being broadcast – either live, on the air, or taped for later airing.

• There is a natural flow to the dialogue.  The best interviews are the ones where the interviewers come prepared – they know the information that they want to receive so they’ve got good questions to ask. Of course, as an interviewee, when I’m being asked about my books, I’m certainly knowledgeable!

• There is a feeling of spontaneity to the discussion, even though there was a structure and time constraint to the interviews.  They are not rigid question and answer (or interrogation) sessions.  

• There is a connection between the people who become a team, each interested in having a positive outcome.

• There is recognition that silence is okay.  A short pause never breaks that natural flow and the dialogue is not rushed nor pressured.  It’s okay to pause for a moment to gather a thought.  

• There is trust.  All parties are confident and relying on each other for a great experience. 

The Big Book of HR devotes a chapter to “Critical Conversations: and The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook devotes a chapter to discovering “What’s The Problem?” Why? Because there are so many circumstances at work when good information has to be given and received.  Whether your conversations are critical or casual, keep the rhythm in them.

A Wooden Bowl & Dignity

Early on a Saturday evening last fall I answered a knock on the door. Standing there in his Cub Scout leader’s uniform, holding his infant son in one arm was our neighbor, Zeeshan. His 4-year old daughter was gleefully by his side. In his other hand he held out a wooden bowl. “Do you recognize this?” he asked, indicating the bowl. I didn’t. “It came from your tree,” he said.

He had crafted the bowl from a piece of wood from a dead tree we had removed this summer. "Now you can always remember your tree," he said. I was so touched by his loving gesture of kindness!

What did I know about him? He practices a religion different than mine, he was born in a different county (as were my paternal grandparents and my husband’s father), his hobby is wood crafting and carpentry (he made the cabinets when they remodeled their kitchen), he’s a loving father involved in his children’s activities, and he’s a good neighbor who cares about the community in which we all live. Our differences are not problems, they are strengths.

The forces that battled discrimination for decades won a major battle in 1964 with the signing of the Civil Rights Act. That law had eleven sections and prohibited discrimination in voting, public accommodations, public facilities, public education, federally-funded programs, and employment – the section with which I’m most familiar and engaged in the workplace. The Act was the culmination of efforts to gain protection for the basic citizenship rights of African American. In employment it prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex and national origin. Subsequent legislation was enacted to protect older Americans and people with disabilities.

While the Act outlawed discrimination, it didn’t eliminate it. Discrimination must be eliminated because it’s an affront to our differences and our dignity.  On January 21, 2017, both Barbara and I marched in Washington DC. The next day I found myself reflecting on one question, “Why did I march?”

Why did I march? There are many reasons why I felt it was important to be there, but most importantly I marched to defend and preserve decency and dignity which I've witnessed eroding in our society recently.

-       The dignity of women

-       The dignity of individuals with disabilities

-       The dignity of people of all religions

-       The dignity of people who immigrated to this country to seek a better way of life

-       The dignity of journalists and scientists who work in noble professions and seek the truth

-       The dignity of all human beings regardless of their various dimensions of diversity

I marched because defending our human rights and dignity is the moral thing to do. 

Dignity.  It was symbolized in that wooden bowl.

Dignity.  It’s about making people matter in our workplaces and throughout the world today.

Respectful Curiosity

As a society, do we have the ability to suspend judgment, even for a moment, and listen to and consider an opposing point of view? This is not a commentary on the current state of political affairs. I wrote this back in 2012. In fact, much of this post is adapted from something I wrote that fall.

When I conduct diversity training, one of my objectives is to have people challenge their ability to temporarily suspend their beliefs and world views in order to entertain the beliefs and world views of others in a non-judgmental way.  Most participants get it, or at least pretend to.  Some, however, can't break away from the mental models that have shaped their thinking.

Consider the following excerpt from a playbill for the show The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. The play premiered on Broadway in 1978 and I saw it in September, 2012, in a local theatre.

“The story is not about sex, but about hypocrisy and how one person can generate a national controversy.  Suddenly one person becomes a group who feels they have the right to tell you what to do and how to do it.  They push agendas, opinions and mantras and make judgments.  Assumptions are made without facts and opinions are broadcast in hopes of catching others attention.  They don't want to start a conversation; they want to start a fire.” (Emphasis added.)  (Eric Schaeffer, Artistic Director of the Signature Theatre in Arlington, Virginia)

To borrow a phrase from Sly and the Family Stone, we’re all everyday people with a vast array of differences and similarities along with hopes, dreams and problems. Learning about each other – being genuinely curious – is key to living and working together. Our differences make us unique and interesting. We’ve got to be respectfully curious and learn about each other. We’ve got to be more comfortable starting genuine conversations than setting fires.

Blinders remain on today regarding a vast number of social issues.  These issues are the basis of our current national discourse and that discourse has grown worse.  We have to be capable of taking a moment to pause, suspend judgment, and have dialogue and discussion about these issues in a calm and rational manner.

Conflict and Collaboration

Every time we enter into conflict, there is an opportunity for us to learn and grow. It takes awareness, internal motivation and a conscious decision to move from the mindset and “stuck-ness” of conflict to whole-heartedly grasping a focus on learning and growth. By doing this, you are creating a transformation of mental and physical “life-force” from conflict to growth. This is “magic” of a divine kind. I encourage you to ponder on this.

Growth includes change, learning, expansion, development, insight, awareness, discovery and a growth like the budding leaf on a tree telling us that Spring is about to arrive. Now let’s attach these words to conflict and identify aspects of growth.

• Conflict can inspire change of mind, heart, position, perception, understanding and what we know or believe.
• Conflict can result in learning something new about ourselves or someone else.
• Conflict increases our blood pressure and stress level yet also expands our knowledge about our ownership and passion of what is important to us.
• Conflict can help us identify and learn about our own values.
• Conflict can help us develop discrimination between what is healthy or unhealthy for our body, mind and spirit.
• Conflict can give us insights about our emotions and what triggers others’ emotions. We can gain insights about what hinders or helps us grow.
• Conflict can make us aware of differences we have with each other, as friends, enemies, family or a spouse.
• Conflict can help us discover different things about who we are and how we live and work.
• Conflict can help us use vulnerability to realize and manifest potential new buds and blooms of our humanity.

Here are some ways to move from conflict to collaboration:

• Choose to grow and learn from each other versus doing battle.
• See differences as good, necessary and connections of oneness.
• Focus on the blending and merging of uniqueness.
• Pay attention to strengths, skills and wisdom that you have in common with others.
• Consider the harmonics of a barbershop quartet and visualize harmony that you and others can produce together.
• Check out the many new available resources of all kinds that result in working together.
• Combine information, knowledge and visions of what can be.
• Share questions and desires.
• Explore what you know and don’t know.
• Take two great teams and create an even better team of unbelievable synergy.
• Look for connections where we usually see differences.
• Create new relationships out of old estrangement and indifference.

Moving from conflict to collaboration enables and creates a new life and world for everyone. The journey from conflict to collaboration is about a path purpose here on earth. EnJoy collaboration!

Remember: Check out “The Big Book of HR” by Barbara Mitchell and Cornelia Gamlem, it has great additional information about the topics of this entire series.

Thanks to Bernie Linnartz of Empowerment Experts This article was originally published in Taos News on May 19, 2016.

Is This For Real?

At an event I attended, a commentator said that in a conflict it's the perceived facts rather than the real facts that are important. Yes, I agree that perceptions may give rise to conflict, but if you want to resolve them, getting the underlying facts is critical.

Perceived facts are often rooted in assumptions. I read a perfect example of how assumptions can start controversy. I often read Carolyn Hax' column in The Washington Post. A recent column was based on an on-line discussion. The original writer described a common situation – someone gets on an elevator and rides it only one floor and the action is often met with snide comments or rude stares. The writer happened to know an individual with a hidden disability who must limit her use of stairs. Someone chimed in admitting she was an occasional eye-roller, and she didn't understand what "hidden disability" meant, but went on to profess that obesity is a huge problem in this country that's consuming health-care resources.

Wait! The original writer never said anything about obesity. She didn't say anything about the nature of her friend's hidden disability. It was the anonymous responder – the eye-roller – who, absent having any facts, made an assumption and reached an erroneous conclusion. Carolyn Hax made the excellent point in her reply that "silent judgments" are not harmless, but rather they are dehumanizing and can be deeply polarizing.

I was cringing as I read the column, thinking of how the discussion might have played out had it happened in the workplace. Things could have turned toxic quickly. Some of the questions I would have liked to have asked the occasional eye roller:

1.     From the information presented, what makes you believe that all hidden disabilities are related to obesity?

2.     Can you explain why you are assigning blame?

3.     If you don’t understand what a hidden disability is, can you help me understand how you have come to make a silent judgment about someone?

I would have asked the original writer more about the nature of her friend's disability, not to pry, but from a curiosity point of view – to genuinely learn and gain a broader understanding.

The eye-roller made statements based on her perceptions and assumptions. They were certainly lacking in understanding and respect. As a result, she made, as Ms. Hax noted, "baseless judgments."

In any conflict, it's important to have the real facts. Otherwise, comments, or worse, insults, get batted back and forth and nothing gets solved. "What's the Problem" is the title of one of the chapters in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook. It's devoted to getting and giving good information – in other words, the real facts.

Workplace Bullying—It’s a Bottom Line Issue!

Bullies are all around us—even at work!  According to a recent study by The Workplace Bullying Institute, nearly 30% of us have been bullied at work.  Bullying can have serious implications for both the victim but also on the organization as a whole. 

Bullying left unchecked can impact morale and increase turnover if employees who are not being bullied see that their leadership isn’t dealing with the bully and decide that they’d rather work elsewhere.  So, bullying can impact productivity and the bottom line.  Bullying can also have a ripple effect—bullies breed other bullies!

What is Workplace Bullying?

Workplace bullying is defined as the repeated infliction of international, malicious, and abusive behavior that interferes with a person’s ability to do his/her work and is substantial enough to cause physical and/or psychological harm that a reasonable person would find hostile or offensive.

Workplace bullying can take many forms including:

·       Shouting or screaming at a co-worker

·       Singling out a co-worker for unjustified criticism or blame

·       Excluding a co-worker from work activities or social events

·       Ignoring work contributions

·       Using language that embarrasses or humiliates a co-worker

·       Making jokes that repeatedly target the same person

The bad news is that bullies can be anyone in the organization—including managers and leaders.  I knew of a CEO who seemed to enjoy picking one person a week to bully.  In staff meetings he would verbally attack the selected individual and go at them until the rest of the leadership team was ready to bolt from the room or climb under the table.  Not only were they incredibly sorry for their colleague, they knew their turn was coming.

I’ve seen employees bully their boss and others bully a peer.  So, organizations must realize that, if anyone can be a bully and anyone can be bullied, having a policy against bullying is their first defense.  Policies can be helpful but to really have an impact, the policy has to be enforced and the subject of bullying discussed so that everyone knows the organization has zero tolerance for bullies.

Elements of a Workplace Bullying Policy

A workplace bullying policy should include:

·       Purpose or objective of the policy

·       Who it covers (all employees, managers, executives,)

·       Definition of workplace bullying*

·       Examples of behaviors that will not be tolerated

·       How to report workplace bullying

·       Investigation process

·       Consequences of workplace bullying

Communication Process

Once you have your policy developed, this is a great time for a communication blitz on the topic of workplace bullying.  Train managers on how to spot bullying and how to report it and on how your policy works.  Hold meetings with all employees to discuss the policy and the consequences of workplace bullying.

Let everyone know that each person has a responsibility to keep bullying out of your organization. This is another place where “if you see it, say it” applies.  Everyone should be aware of what constitutes bullying behavior and what to do if it happens to them or if they see it happening around them.  Silence validates bullying behaviors and, since we know bullying can have a negative effect on the organization as a whole, each employee should be expected to monitor the behaviors around them.

Employees need to know that if they are the victim of bullying behavior, the first step should be to let the bully know that they are not going to accept it.  Then, they should let their manager or HR know it happened.  If their physical well-being is threatened, they should leave the room or building and call in for help.  Most bullying in the workplace is verbal so this may not be an issue but it certainly should be discussed.

Bottom Line

Most of us want to work for organizations where we feel productive and where our contributions to be valued.  Workplace bullying can impact our organization’s productivity and therefore, our bottom line.  Organizations today can’t afford to be silent on this issue—it’s too important to be overlooked.

This article was originally published on HR.BLR.com on October 12, 2015

Simple Requests – Simple Standards

How do simple requests turn into hostility? Consider the following situation that has perplexed me for some time.  I’ve been taking yoga lessons at the same studio for years. In addition to standard request to turn off your cell phones during class, there’s one other simple rule – standard – students and instructors are expected to follow – no shoes in the rooms where the practice takes place. I never asked why, but I’m sure it’s to prevent tracking dirt onto the carpets in the practice rooms. Many of the poses involving lying down on the floor.  Makes sense. There’s a place in the lobby to store your shoes and quickly retrieve them when you leave.

Once, at the beginning of a class, the instructor approached a student who wasn’t a regular in this particular session. The woman’s shoes were lying on the floor next to her yoga mat. The instructor respectfully reminded her that shoes were not allowed in the practice rooms. The woman got extremely defensive and argumentative, stating that she’d carried them in. When the instructor tried once again to very politely remind her of the rule – no shoes in the practice rooms – she became belligerent, arguing that she had to leave early and wanted all her belongings, shoes included, with her so she could make a quick getaway. One more gentle reminder from the instructor, and she grabbed her stuff and stormed out.

The poor instructor was bewildered and started asking those of us who overheard the exchange if we thought she’d been offensive. No she hadn’t – she was quiet and calm in her demeanor as she tried to explain the one, simple standard to which everyone is held. If anyone was offensive, it was that student.

Keep in mind, this is a yoga studio. People practice yoga for both their physical and mental wellbeing. For me, the time before the class begins is the time that I unplug from my day and focus on my own welfare. I try to be mindful that everyone else in attendance is there for the same purpose. Obviously, this belligerent woman didn’t get the memo! She was disturbing everyone else’s peace of mind. Her only concern was that she had to leave the session early. When other students have had to leave early and they are thoughtful enough to let the instructor know before they settle in and they usually take a spot near the door so they can slip away quietly without disruption. This woman had firmly planted herself in the middle of the room with all her stuff!

The no-shoes policy is based on an objective criteria – one that appeals and relates to the shared standards of all students who practice yoga in the studio. Even if the student in question carried her shoes in, let’s face it, shoes can emit odors and be offensive to other students, especially if your head is on the floor. Another shared standard of the community of yogis who practice in this studio is creating and maintaining a culture that is respectful, calming and peaceful. Other than the request to keep your cell phones off, there are no “rules” about this standard. It’s a value and an interest that all members of this community generally embrace. It’s a standard that shouldn’t need an explanation. When individuals don’t espouse the values of the greater community disruptive behavior and conflict can result.

This particular conflict was resolved by the student drawing a line in the sand and when she didn’t get her way, she left. No one asked her to do so, it was her decision. It was her choice not to accept one simple standard based on an objective criteria. It was her loss, but the rest of us enjoyed a delightful yoga practice filled with peace and harmony that evening.  

Working in Harmony

Workplace bullies. Toxic employees and work environments. These are some topics that I’ve seen out in the blogosphere or tweeted about recently. So what do you do? Coach them? Put them on a performance improvement plan? Remove them from the team and make them an individual contributor? Bottom line: ask yourself, “What’s the problem?” By the way, that’s a chapter title in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook, but it’s a question you’ve got to ask so you can determine the best way to address the problem, whatever it is.

For example, the problem could be any of the following:

·       Someone who has a negative attitude that infects the rest of the team – the naysayer – the person who crushes creativity with a phrase such as “That won’t work” or “We’ve always done it this way!”

·   Someone whose jokes and comments get out of hand and there’s a real potential for harassment;

·      Someone who dominates meetings, cutting everyone else off or worse, hijacking the meeting with his or her own agenda – subtle or not so subtle forms of bullying

All of these are examples of poor behavior – not performance – in the workplace. Conduct is about how people are expected to behave at work. When an employee exhibits behavior that is inappropriate in a business environment, there is a conduct problem.

So what’s an organization to do? Clearly crafted policies can be an organization’s best way to address these issues because policies provide guidance (not mandates) for management. You do necessarily need to have a policy that addresses every type of poor behavior. Consider an employee conduct policy that defines categories of conduct that are unacceptable and could lead to management action. At the top of the list – Inability or Unwillingness to Work Harmoniously with Others. Do any of the above examples fit this category? They absolutely do! Your conduct policy also needs guidance on management responses to inappropriate behavior.

Of course, there will be situations where the nature of the conduct warrants a stand-alone policy, such as workplace harassment which has legal implications. Your harassment policy should tie to the conduct policy. What I mean is that if someone’s jokes and comments are leaning toward harassment, you can reference both the conduct policy and harassment policy when you address the behavior. All your policies should work in harmony with each other!

Address the problem – don’t move it somewhere else in the organization. Even an individual contributor has to interact with others.  In addressing toxic workplace behavior, a very clear message needs to be sent:

·       Describe the disruptive behavior that is occurring

·       Describe the impact that the behavior is having on others in the organization

·       Describe what will happen next: support, if any, that the organization can offer (such as a referral to the employee assistance program); further management action if the behavior does not stop or change

Think of your organization as an orchestra. Your policies and process are the musical pieces or compositions and your employees are the players or orchestra members. Is there harmony among all of these parts of your organization? If not, what steps will you as a leader or the conductor take to bring the harmony back?