Loneliness at Work

Recently there’s been a lot of media focus on loneliness and work. In our fast-paced world, the attention on loneliness may not last, so let’s understand why this is extremely important at this time and beyond.

Cigna recently shared their research in the 2020 Report on America’s Loneliness Epidemic. It found that 61% of those surveyed were lonely at work. Surprisingly, 80% of Gen Z and 70% of Millennials said they are lonely.

Why should business leaders be concerned about a lot of lonely people out there? Because there are costs associated with it. The study found that lonely employees are five times more likely to take a day off work due to stress and are twice as likely to take sick days or consider quitting. 

Take a look at the Gallup 12 research that says that it is important for people to have a best friend at work. When people have a friend at work – someone with common interests to have lunch with and to connect with – they are less likely to be lonely and more likely to be productive. 

You can break the loneliness cycle in your workplace by fostering a more collaborative work environment. Consider ways to bring people together to problem solve or serve on cross-functional work teams giving them a chance to connect with people from other departments or functions. Encourage face-to-face communication by getting people moving – less texting, more walking over to talk to a coworker. Have no-texting Tuesdays.

Consider some ways to bring your employees together just to socialize:

• Monthly potluck lunches where everyone contributes a dish from a country that represents their heritage.  Food is a great way to bring people together.
• Speaking of food, assess common eating areas. Are they places where people can/want to go—places where they can sit with others, eat, and have a conversation? Encourage this and discourage grabbing something to eat and taking it to your desk to eat alone.
• Start a book club that meets during a monthly lunch break. It need not have a theme – whatever the group is interested in or organized around your industry. Either way, it’s a great way to socialize.
• Survey your team for ideas. For example, one organization found they had a lot of people who were training for a marathon, so they started a running club that spilled over to the weekends. When the employees ran the marathon, lots of their non-running coworkers went out to cheer them on and celebrated after it was over. 
• Start a mentoring program that encourages people to come together. Mentoring is a natural way to bring people together and has proven to be effective to help ward off loneliness at work.
• Consider doing some team building activities at each of your staff or all hands meetings. The more people know about each other as human beings, the easier it will be for them to connect.

Loneliness is something to be concerned about at work and in general. Connecting with remote employees is another challenge for a future blog.  For now, what can you do today to ensure that there are fewer lonely employees working for you?

Look Who’s on the Global Stage!

My Asian adventure continues. In December 2006, I was part of a delegation of HR professionals that travelled to China through the People to People program.  The trip took us to Beijing and Shanghai where we visited businesses, including Lenovo and Texas Instrument, universities, and the Ministry of Personnel of The People’s Republic of China.  

Entering the Ministry and taking part in the presentations and discussion was surreal.  It’s primary function is human capital development in the public sector—Chinese civil servants and employees at institutions providing social and service delivery functions, such as schools, research facilities, and medical centers.  We learned about its role in the transition of China from a planned to a market economy.  

At Tsinghua University’s School of Economics and Management in Beijing, we exchanged ideas about HR and management issues.  The faculty discussed their research on evolving business and management strategies and the emerging role for HR in China. Most of us in the delegation were surprised when a young and very assertive female Assistant Professor commented, "We encourage our old people to retire.” It was in response to a question regarding concern over losing institutional knowledge and experience. What we learned was that as China emerges from decades of a planned economy, they are suffering from a loss of talent, especially middle management.  What young managers and professionals lack most are experienced mentors.  Our take away from that discussion was their need for management training with an emphasis on middle management. Many of us in the delegation saw a big opportunity in that area.

Fast forward to February 2020.  Last week Barbara and I were each absolutely surprised and delighted to receive a very unexpected package in the mail.  Our publisher sent us presentation copies of the translation of The Manager’s Answer Book into Chinese and The Big Book of HR into Vietnamese. We knew that they sold the foreign rights to our books, and we knew The Big Book of HR had sold in countries such as Brazil, Germany, Spain, U.K., France, Australia, India, Mexico, Japan, Canada and Italy.  But to see it translated into two Asian languages—that was beyond our wildest expectations.

Looking back on that December 2006 afternoon at Tsinghua University, I’m delighted to be able to fill a part of that need for middle management training in China with The Manager’s Answer Book.

Cornelia Gamlem

When Love is in the Air at Work

“Oh, Maryanne. It was so awkward. I was so afraid they were going to see me.”

“Calm down, Allison,” I said to my friend, a young professional I’ve been mentoring. She was telling me that while she was on a date last weekend—a nice romantic dinner—she spotted two people from work, and there was nothing casual about the dinner they were having. 

“I spotted them across the room on our way in, and fortunately, the maître d’ escorted us into a smaller, more private room. Dave is so romantic,” she sighed, changing the subject for a moment.  “Anyway, they were holding hands and only had eyes for each other, which I guess was good for me.”

“I hope it didn’t spoil your date,” I said smiling. 

“It didn’t, but I know I’ve got to tell my boss tomorrow when he gets back from his trip. It’s tricky because the woman reports to the man she was with, and he heads up a significant line of business, and she manages one of the important projects. Is it an ethics violation if they’re married to other people and dating? Could we fire them for that?”

I knew this was a challenge for Allison. Her family was a close-knit one. Her grandparents just celebrated their 60^th wedding anniversary. I had to frame this as a business problem for her.

“Allison, look at your policies and the situation. You’ve told me your company has no restriction on dating. And whether or not anyone agrees with their behavior or morality on a personal level, it’s not necessarily a violation of business ethics. It doesn’t sound like there’s been a work-related issue until now. If there’s the perception that she’s receiving preferential treatment from him because of their reporting relationship and personal involvement, that could have a big impact.”

“What if anyone else has seen them?”

“Good point, Allison.  And let me say, they’ve not exercised good judgment by appearing in public while trying to keep this relationship secret. Why don’t you suggest to your boss that they be made a part of the solution?  I’m sure they are aware that their personal relationship was bound to have an effect at work. There may be a solution that you’re not aware of. I’m sure there are a number of options that can be explored.”  That seemed to relieve a little of Allison’s anxiety.

As I ended the call and took off my headset, I took a deep breath to clear my head. It's never black and white when you're dealing with people. There are always shades of grey, and managing in that grey zone is the biggest challenge.

Maryanne Robertson

P. S. Who is Maryanne Robertson and why is she writing this post? If you missed our January newsletter, you can find out more about Maryanne at

http://makingpeoplematter.blogspot.com/2020/01/meet-maryanne-robertson.html.

I Just Can’t Stop

It was a plea for help. A letter seeking workplace advice after the writer was placed on a performance improvement plan, and he knew the cause of his problem.  This employee often stays up very late at night watching sports, then has difficulty getting to work at 7:00 am the next morning for the start of an early shift. He exacerbates this habit by listening to sports radio all day. The advice that was offered—find a new job or a new hobby or habit.  What? While interesting, the advice doesn’t address the problem.

I’m not a therapist, so I can’t diagnose the problem, even if I suspected some sort of addiction may be involved. It was clear, however, the employee was not in denial.  He acknowledged he couldn’t stop his behavior.  If the problem had been presented to me, I would have asked, “Does your organization have an Employee assistance program?” 

Employee assistance programs, or EAPs, are a tremendous resource for organizations.  An EAP professional can help employees with problems affecting their lives and work and can help managers by assessing a situation and preparing them to address the problem with the employee so the outcome is positive for everyone. 

Of course, in the situation described above, the employee was aware that he had a problem.  That makes it easier to steer him in the right direction. Let him know that the EAP is a resource and explain how to contact them. 

However, that’s not always the case.  An employee may be in denial. Then what’s a manager to do?

Describe the behavior, to both the EAP professional and the employee, in detailed terms. Be specific about the behavior that is causing concern. Provide the employee explicit, quantifiable facts that are hard to refute. For example, “On Monday, you yelled at your co-worker in a tone of voice that was threatening. Several co-workers witnessed and reported it.” This helps to break through the employee's denial that a problem exists, and lets the employee know that you have noticed something. At this point you can offer the EAP as a resource.

When you’re speaking with the employee, keep in mind that you are not a therapist or healthcare provider. Avoid diagnosing the root of the problem. Leave this to the professionals. Your job is to focus on maintaining proficiency and productivity of your department.