Without Trust, Conflict

 We know that conflict is a necessary ingredient in a good story, but how about at work? Well, if it’s managed and positive, conflict can lead to innovation and creativity resulting in business growth and success. Mean-spirited conflict, on the other hand, is great in a mystery, but at work it can erode trust and derail relationships quickly. 

Every good story has heroes or heroines and villains. They exist in real life and in real organizations. Consider a senior leader described as follows: Always confrontational whenever you ask a question or bring something to their attention. Doesn’t listen and talks over you. Speaks to others in a tone that is scolding and confrontational. Dismissive of others concerns. Doesn’t communicate in a respectful manner. Micromanages people’s time and schedules.

The challenge in this situation comes when others in the organization who interact with this leader say:

• I avoid interaction and find a workaround.
• I cringe when I have to ask something or bring up a situation. 
• Too many negative encounters – my trust is eroded.
• Behavior that doesn’t model our values.
• Recurring behavior that is creating a negative, unproductive work environment.
• I avoid conflict but the behavior has to stop. 

Sounds like it’s time for some respectful confrontation which should come from the leader’s boss since the comments about this leader’s behavior is widespread.  Some points the boss might make are:

• You’re in a visible and valuable position in this organization, but your behavior towards your colleagues is eroding their trust in your abilities and in the organization. Let me give you some examples of the feedback I’ve received. 
• We strive for a collaborative, respectful culture and work environment in the organization. However, your interactions with many staff members have resulted in expressions of poor morale and concerns about the work environment growing toxic. Here are examples of what I’ve heard. 

This gives the boss the opportunity to point out the behavior and the impact it’s having on others individually and on the entire organization. It also opens the conversation to talk about steps for improvement.

The next thing the head of this organization should do, along with modeling respectful behavior, is empower the employees to respond to negative behavior in a respectful and positive way. Examples of things they can say when encountering or observing negative behavior by anyone include:

• Please don’t be dismissive toward others in your comments.
• Talk like that is disingenuous and doesn’t support the values of the organization.
• This goes against who we are as an organization. I can’t accept this type of behavior at work.

Finally, the organization must support and recognize employees when they confront or report negative behavior. Employees have to trust that everyone is accountable and held to the same standards. 

To learn more about our conflict books, The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook and The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book visit our website at https://www.bigbookofhr.com/the-conflict-books.