His organization was under new leadership, and the new Executive Director was making changes. One would negatively impact him. He knew the decision wasn’t personal, but he wasn’t happy about it. He made an appointment to meet with the Executive Director but wanted to share his thoughts with me beforehand.
When we sat down, he started venting, “I need to get it out,” which I totally understood. He quickly turned to his rational voice. “I want to present what I perceive as the problem, but I also want to present possible solutions.” Perfect, he was on the right path.
A third of the way into the discussion, we began writing down talking points so he could better frame his case. As we talked, he came up with another potential solution. I suggested he go home and put these talking points into his own words. Then I cautioned him, “Remember, you don’t have all the facts. Some of these solutions may not be able to work.” He understood. His parting words were, “If I’m heard, I’ll consider it a positive outcome.”
His meeting the next day with the new Executive Director lasted 90 minutes, and “it went very, very, very well.” The director made his decision based on available information. Now, as a result of their discussion, he had more information and was thankful to receive it. While he made no promise for an immediate change, he did indicate that the initial decision was no longer final and committed to considering the suggested solutions.
They went on to talk about some long term, strategic ideas and plans. Would my colleague be interested in playing a role in any of them? “Definitely.” The director concluded by thanking him for bringing the issue forward and for his candor. “So many times employees are upset with me, but they don’t tell me why.” That’s a classic example of not being able to fix a problem because you don’t know it exists.
However, my colleague’s action allowed him and his boss to get ahead of the issue, explore future opportunities, and optimize the conflict rather than allow it to grow bigger. The situation also highlights many of the themes and topics from The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook.
- Change at work, especially change in leadership, can bring conflict or new opportunities to the organization. Look for the latter.
- While emotions and feelings are natural, it’s important to recognize, acknowledge and manage them.
- Understanding the problem requires giving and getting accurate information.
- The parties involved in the situation/conflict must own and solve it.
In these incredibly trying times, we are all struggling with a jumble of emotions and change. Step outside for a moment. Take a breath of fresh air and listen to the birds. We can’t control everything that’s going on right now, but we can control our emotions and reactions. It’s a good way to practice getting ahead of future conflicts you may face.
Cornelia Gamlem
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