“When will you need the funds by?” asked the teller. “It’s okay. I’ll pay the bill from another account,” the customer responded. Interesting comment and information, but it didn’t answer the simple question the teller asked.
Have you ever encountered this frustration? Perhaps when you call a help desk and ask a simple question and receive a data dump of information that doesn’t succinctly answer your question and you’re still left to your own resources—and frustration—to figure out the answer.
Listening is such a critical, but overlooked, part of communication. As we discuss in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook, it’s a three-part process. First, you receive the message from the speaker. Next, you process the message. Take it in and understand what you’ve heard so you know what’s being said or asked. Finally, you answer. If you’ve understood what the speaker asked, you’ll respond in a way that confirms she was, in fact heard. When this occurs, progress and productivity will follow, rather than frustration and stress. If you didn’t understand what the speaker asked, then ask for clarification.
Clarifying skills reduce ambiguity and establish certainty. You can use statements and questions such as:
- What I think you are saying is…..
- Could you give me an example of ….?
- I’m not sure I understand. Could you repeat that?
- Could you tell me more about….?
Chief Justice John Marshall once said, “To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well.” When we listen, we show that we have the utmost respect for the other person. We are able to get good information and give good information. We also save time, increase productivity, and avoid conflict.
April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month. April 2020 has been particularly stressful for everyone. We are all dealing with the effects of Covid-19. Take the time to stop and listen. Get the right information and give good responses. Stay well and safe.
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