No April Fools Here

“Did you ask them, Jason, if they know why they have two ears and one mouth? It’s because they’re supposed to spend more time listening than talking,” said Ellen Cooper.

Jason Edison was delighting the networking group with a tale about intervening with a client who had two teams that couldn’t communicate with each other.  So they decided to form a committee of four people, two from each team, to try to solve the problem. Things went downhill from there. When Jason joined the committee’s first meeting, everyone was talking over each other and him. 

“First I had to whistle to get their attention. Then explain I’m a coach, not a referee,” he said. “Once I got control, I laid down some ground rules. No interruptions, especially when someone’s talking. Respect all viewpoints. Listen with an open mind.”

That’s the thing about conflict.  Often the people involved get embroiled in their emotions.  They don’t see issues clearly.  That’s where a third-party facilitator can move the conversation forward.  And Jason is a terrific facilitator, so I asked him what happened next. 

“I had each team appoint a spokesperson, then gave the first one a chance to state her team’s concern. Then I asked the other team’s spokesperson, ‘What did you hear her say?’ This allowed the receiver to summarize what was said from his viewpoint and gave the initial speaker the opportunity to confirm or clarify what she said.  Then, I reversed the process and the second spokesperson stated his team’s concern followed by summary and clarification. Before long we had a list of issues written down.”

“Now what?” said Ellen. “How are you going to resolve their concerns, Jason?”

“That’s the thing, I’m not. It’s their problem to solve. Someone said he liked the ground rules I set and asked if they’d work if both teams were brought together.”

“Sounds like they want to brainstorm, Jason,” I said.

“Exactly,” he said, explaining that the committee members will take the list of issues back to their respective teams. Once the teams review them, the committee will convene a meeting of both teams, communicating ground rules in advance and asking for agreement. 

• No interruptions.  
• Everyone should contribute an option to resolve the conflict, and all options are encouraged.
• Listen with an open mind. No criticizing.
• All options are written down. Nothing is discounted or ignored.
• Options will be evaluated at a separate meeting.

“The committee members asked me to facilitate the brainstorming session, which I agreed to do, provided everyone agreed to the ground rules. If all goes well, I’ll also facilitate the second meeting when they evaluate options. I’ll let you know what happens next month.” 

This discussion reminded the group of essential elements of managing conflict.  The parties involved 1) have to own it and have to solve the problem; 2) should create multiple options for resolution is important; and 3) separate the process of creating options and evaluating them. It was really timely, too, since April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month.

Maryanne Robertson 

P. S. Who is Maryanne Robertson and why is she writing this post? If you missed our January newsletter, you can find out more about Maryanne at

http://makingpeoplematter.blogspot.com/2020/01/meet-maryanne-robertson.html.

Getting Ahead of the Conflict

His organization was under new leadership, and the new Executive Director was making changes. One would negatively impact him. He knew the decision wasn’t personal, but he wasn’t happy about it. He made an appointment to meet with the Executive Director but wanted to share his thoughts with me beforehand. 

When we sat down, he started venting, “I need to get it out,” which I totally understood. He quickly turned to his rational voice. “I want to present what I perceive as the problem, but I also want to present possible solutions.” Perfect, he was on the right path. 

A third of the way into the discussion, we began writing down talking points so he could better frame his case. As we talked, he came up with another potential solution. I suggested he go home and put these talking points into his own words. Then I cautioned him, “Remember, you don’t have all the facts. Some of these solutions may not be able to work.” He understood. His parting words were, “If I’m heard, I’ll consider it a positive outcome.”

His meeting the next day with the new Executive Director lasted 90 minutes, and “it went very, very, very well.” The director made his decision based on available information. Now, as a result of their discussion, he had more information and was thankful to receive it. While he made no promise for an immediate change, he did indicate that the initial decision was no longer final and committed to considering the suggested solutions.

They went on to talk about some long term, strategic ideas and plans. Would my colleague be interested in playing a role in any of them? “Definitely.” The director concluded by thanking him for bringing the issue forward and for his candor. “So many times employees are upset with me, but they don’t tell me why.” That’s a classic example of not being able to fix a problem because you don’t know it exists.

However, my colleague’s action allowed him and his boss to get ahead of the issue, explore future opportunities, and optimize the conflict rather than allow it to grow bigger. The situation also highlights many of the themes and topics from The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook.

• Change at work, especially change in leadership, can bring conflict or new opportunities to the organization. Look for the latter.
• While emotions and feelings are natural, it’s important to recognize, acknowledge and manage them.
• Understanding the problem requires giving and getting accurate information.
• The parties involved in the situation/conflict must own and solve it.

In these incredibly trying times, we are all struggling with a jumble of emotions and change.  Step outside for a moment. Take a breath of fresh air and listen to the birds. We can’t control everything that’s going on right now, but we can control our emotions and reactions. It’s a good way to practice getting ahead of future conflicts you may face.  

Cornelia Gamlem

Learning and Teaching

I know I’m not alone in being a faithful reader of Seth Godin’s daily blogs (and yes, I still can’t believe he blogs every day and I think once a week is a challenge). Monday, March 23, 2020, his blog ended with this challenge: “What will you learn today? Who will you teach?”

As we’re all living in what seems to be an alternative universe in which we are working from home and keeping our social distance from neighbors and friends, this challenge is perfect.  Seth comments that “we may not be able to anything about external events, but we have control over our actions.”

Like everyone, I’m spending a lot of time on Zoom and conference calls, and I’m learning where to place my laptop so that I’m not focused on how wrinkled my neck is. I hope I am using this time to learn and teach others.

How about you? What will you learn today and who will you teach? Maybe not every day of this period of time, but I hope that more days than not, I learn something new that then I can turn around a share with someone else.

One of my passions is helping people who are considering a job or career change. While this may not be an ideal time to be interviewing, I’m trying to think of other things people can do during this time. It is a great time to update a LinkedIn Profile or reach out to people in their network that they haven’t talked to in a while. No, this is probably not the time to meet for coffee or lunch but why not certainly can do a Zoom call or even an old-fashioned phone call to reconnect?

Another thing I can learn is how to make better use of video technology. I’ve done plenty of webinars over the past few years and am pretty comfortable doing them, but I’m less confident about my ability to use some of the great features of other platforms. Great time to give this a try. 

I’ve always believed that it was a good thing to be a lifelong learner and now, thanks to this pesky virus that has stopped so much of our world, I have the time to do it.  Let’s learn together and make these necessary life changes into something positive. Maybe I can get motivated to blog more often…and then again, maybe not.

Barbara Mitchell

The Writing Life

“Give yourself permission to write a sh...y first draft.” Seriously, that was one piece of advice we heard from the bestselling novelist, Lisa Scottoline, at the 2017 Writer's Digest Annual Conference. We’ve been making the trip to New York City to attend this conference for the past five years where we get to hear from successful authors who generously share ideas about their writing process. We learn about the business and craft of writing from people who’ve succeeded beyond our wildest dreams: 

• “Writing is a playground. You have to know the toys you're playing with.” Hallie Ephron

• “I write 2,000 words a day.” Lisa Scottoline

• “I write in 17 minute bursts.” Jane Clellan

• “The moment you finish a book, start the next. The tank is on empty, but once you start writing, it fills up.” Richard Russo

Writing is a journey, and no two authors share the same adventure or challenge--unless they write with someone as we do.  Our journey over the past year has been exhilarating, frustrating, exciting, and nonstop. 

Starting in late summer and through the fall of 2016, we began work on the second edition of The Big Book of HR. We convinced the publisher to do this given the changes taking place impacting the HR profession. Finding the information to update the book was easy. Making revisions directly on the old manuscript was the challenge. We couldn't have done it without guidance and help from Susan Devereaux, our wonderful assistant. It wasn't just writing the revisions that consumed our time. The book cover which the publisher designed had to be reviewed and approved. Catalogue copy had to be written for the publisher. And there were our day jobs. 

During this same time period, the publisher proposed, and we accepted the challenge to write The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book.  Contract signed in early November, no problem. We still had until mid-December to submit the manuscript to the publisher for The Big Book of HR, and Susan would need it sooner to edit. We could do some preliminary writing now and give it full attention in the new year.

Needless to say, our time during the late fall and through the winter of 2016 was consumed with writing. The manuscript for The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book was due in mid-March. Finish one, start the next. Of course, an author’s work isn't complete once the manuscript is submitted. We also had to be available to multiple editors for the levels of editorial review of The Big Book of HR, while we were writing the The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book.

Back to The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book, once again, book cover review and requests to write catalogue copy.  Granted, the process of writing this book was different, it always is, but the book still needed to be written. And there were our day jobs. Yes we’ve heard plenty of stories from other authors about how they manage writing and still keep their day jobs. 

Spring 2017 arrived. Manuscript for The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book was submitted and we were available once again for multiple stages of editorial review through the spring and summer. September 18, 2017 is the publication date. 

Did we mention that the publisher pitched, and we accepted another title?  Contract signed in August, 2017. Cover review, catalogue copy in progress. Writing has begun. End one, start the next. Stay tuned for the next portion of this journey and we hope you’ll check out our books that we work hard to make as useful as possible and thanks for your support.

Cornelia & Barbara

Be The Calm

I heard a great phrase in yoga class. Find the calm in the middle of the tornado. Timely and fitting in light of everything (commentary and information) swirling around about the Coronavirus. Well, not only find the calm. Be the calm. 

Be prepared. I’ve never lived in tornado country, but I understand they come on suddenly. With no advance warning, you don’t have time to prepare, as in stockpiling. But you prepare by understanding the dangers and acting accordingly. Hurricanes and snowstorms, however, are disasters I’ve lived through and that do have some warning. You prepare for some disruptions. That doesn’t mean panic and hoarding. 

Be informed. I lived in Northern California for over a decade. There was never an earthquake when I lived there, but there was plenty of available and credible information about what to do when one struck. That information came in handy when I was eventually in more than one earthquake many years later.  Know where to obtain credible information from medical experts and follow it. 

Be sensible. Wash your hands with soap. Avoid shaking hands or physical greetings, etc. etc. etc. You know the drill. Practice the Wai, the Asian greeting. With a warm smile, the person will press their palms together and slightly bow the head forward until their fingers almost touch their nose. It is a slight bow.

Sensibility also extends to workplace decisions. There’s plenty of credible information about that as well.  Allow people to telecommute, but keep a few things in mind.

• Set clear expectations and guidelines.
• Make sure your technology works.
• Teleworking equals flexibility.  Let employees manage their schedules, recognizing that the current situation is unique.  Kids may be home from school, which isn’t a usual situation for teleworkers.
• Help team members prioritize their work.

Hillary Clinton reminds us, “You’re not just protecting yourself when you’re working from home, minimizing travel, and washing your hands. You’re protecting people in your community. We’re all in this together. Let’s act like it.”

Amidst the tornado of (all the) information, be the calming influence to those around you. 

Cornelia Gamlem

March Madness

“Maryanne, got a minute? Another problem averted,” said a grinning Kyle, my employee relations manager. I motioned him to come in. 

“We’re approaching time for March Madness, the NCAA basketball tournament. Remember last year how we struggled to keep the staff focused on their work, since parts of the tournament take place during working hours, and productivity takes a hit.”

“If you’ve got a plan, I want to hear it,” I said. “I just read that during the weeks of the tournament, lost productivity from March Madness is estimated to cost businesses close to two billion dollars.”  

“Before I tell you my brilliant idea,” said Kyle, “I want to talk about office betting, sticky issue, I know. Even though we’ve a policy prohibiting gambling, you know, I’m sure, many departments here at Kings do have office pools, and have had them for years, and, well, we’ve kind of looked the other way.”

“You’re right, Kyle. And we’re not alone when it comes to office betting.  My friend Jason shared a story that adds fuel to the fire.  A company’s employees organized a significant pool that selected winners for each game and predicted the national championship. There was even a tie breaker to predict the final score. I think it cost $10 a bracket to join, and a lot of people did, so the pot was significant.”

“I don’t think anyone participates for the money—they do it for the fun and for the bragging rights if you win,” said Kyle. 

“Well, someone in the group must have seen it differently. The person who set up the pool and collected the money couldn’t produce the winnings.  The employees who lost money complained to HR. The thing is, this company had a strict no-gambling policy, and they did enforce it. HR reminded the complainers that everyone who participated violated the policy, and asked what they thought the company should do. That apparently was the end of it, at least as far as the company was concerned.”  

“Unbelievable,” said Kyle before explaining his idea—organize an office-wide pool with no cost to enter, and give winners in certain categories prizes—maybe gift cards or Kings-themed merchandise. This would get around the ethical or legal issues surrounding gambling on company property, but also create some buzz in the building.

He continued, “We can let people know that the monitors in the break rooms will be tuned to the games, but ask that they not live-stream games on their own devices.  And we can encourage people to wear team colors, and host tailgating parties in the cafeteria to add to the festive spirit. These ideas may not keep our productivity as high as usual, but should go a long way toward building morale.” 

“All great ideas, Kyle. Let’s advance them among our HR team, marketing, IT, and the Leadership Team. I want you to take the lead on this. You know, work is serious stuff, but there’s nothing wrong with lightening things up from time to time.”

Maryanne Robertson

Toys in the Workplace

In the 1980s, when I returned to college to complete my undergraduate degree, there was a professor from the business department who was often spotted walking across campus with a container of either wooden building blocks or Tinker Toys. He’d be headed to class where the subject that day was team building.  What an innovative—almost radical—idea we’d remark.  Think about it. Children learn through play, why not adults?

Workplaces in the 1980s probably weren’t ready for toys, but welcome to the 21st Century. With the introduction of gamification in corporate training—the process of applying gaming designs and concepts to learning sessions to make them more engaging and entertaining for employees—is opening up new markets for companies like Playmobil and Legos. 

A methodology called Lego Serious Play has emerged and found its way into corporate training, where a certified Lego Serious Play facilitator, brings a pile of Legos into a conference room and guides a team of employees through building exercises meant to spur new ideas and unlock imagination and innovation. The concept is based on research showing that our hands are connected to 70 to 80 percent of our brain cells. Let’s hear it for tactile learners. 

I read about this in a December 23, 2019 article by Jason Wilson in the Washington Post Magazine, entitled Playmobil’s Plan to Infiltrate your Workspace. Playmobil is getting ready to launch a product called Playmobil Pro—an innovative modelling system for professionals. The idea is to bring Playmobil figures into the workplace so employees can creatively role play, find new solutions, or bring theoretical discussions to life. The same toys you loved as a child help aid in prototyping, project management, creative workshops and more. 

According to Guy Stephens, a facilitator based near London who uses Lego Serious Play, using toys in corporate settings can have significant benefits. “It takes people to a deeper, more emotional level,” he explains. “There’s a level of empathy. It’s a much safer space to ideate.” 

Who said work can’t be fun and games? Bring some levity into your workplaces.  It will reduce stress and increase productivity and creativity.