Just Breathe

As we near the end of what has been an exceedingly difficult year in so many ways, one word keeps flashing in my brain—breathe. No doubt we all know that we must breathe to stay alive. We do it unconsciously. But 2020 has given the word new meaning.

Covid-19 impacts our lungs, and the sickest patients are placed on their stomachs to help them breathe—which seems counter intuitive but obviously works. As the months rolled on and the pandemic worsened, I was extremely grateful for the ability to take a deep breath anytime I want when so many other people can’t. 

Then there was the murder of George Floyd. We all watched in horror while he cried out that he couldn’t breathe. It was heart breaking and Americans of every race took to the streets to protest.

The good news that resulted, however, is we are having conversations about race which is encouraging. We’re not going to let this moment pass when so many of us have been awakened to what needs to change in our country so that we truly live up to these powerful words from our Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal…” 

We just completed a highly partisan election and are moving to a new administration. Lots of people seemed to be holding their breath as returns slowly came in and a decision was finally announced. Some people are now able to take a deep breath and move forward where others aren’t ready to do so yet.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve been able to take heart in the news of highly effective vaccines that should be available soon. This is such great news and brings us hope. Yes, this good news should help us breathe a bit better, but we still need to wash our hands, wear our masks, and stay at least six feet apart when we’re around others.

As the end of 2020 approaches, remember those who lost a loved one this year.  Be grateful that you can breathe.  And let’s keep working toward “a more perfect union” which we know our beloved United States of America can and will be again.

Barbara Mitchell

Freedom

During these unprecedented times, what does freedom mean to each of us individually and collectively? It’s a question worth contemplating this week as we celebrate July 4^th in ways that will be different from prior year celebrations.

I started thinking about this blog over a month ago. In that time, so much has changed. This may be a good time to reflect on recent events and freedom.

COVID-19. Starting in March 2020 and into early May, much of the country was confined because of the virus.  Businesses closed. Stay at home and wear masks in public orders were issued. Some of these directives were met with verbal protests about restrictions of freedom and civil rights. 

One letter I read proclaimed that freedom is freedom no matter what we are facing and criticized the directives to wear masks declaring that somehow her freedom was being withdrawn.  Her letter was more a rant than a compelling, persuasive argument. Did the writer consider that along with freedom comes responsibility? One person’s freedom ends when it impinges on another’s right. The commentator’s choice not to wear a mask encroaches on other people’s right to be safe from a public health risk—one like we’ve never seen before. 

Black Lives Matter. How silly all of this rhetoric about restrictions of freedom and civil rights over wearing masks sounded a few short weeks later when George Floyd was killed on May 25, and the country erupted in protest over systemic discrimination against African American citizens.  The protesters represented a wide diversity of American citizens: diversity in age, race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, occupation, and the list goes on.  

Juneteenth, celebrated on June 19, commemorates the proclamation on June 19, 1865, that slaves in Texas were free. President Lincoln had officially outlawed slavery in Texas and the other states in rebellion against the Union almost two and a half years earlier. A little-known holiday likely until this year, it enjoyed nation-wide attention and celebration. A quote in one article I read said that for African Americans, Juneteenth was their independence day—they weren’t free on July 4, 1776. Now there is a call to make Juneteenth a national holiday.

LGBTQ+. Five days before Juneteenth, on June 15, 2020, the Supreme Court handed down a decision in Bostock v. Clayton County, Georgia, stating that: “An employer who fires an individual for being homosexual or transgender fires that person for traits or actions it would not have questioned in members of a different sex.” Employment discrimination against someone because of their sexual orientation or transgender status is a violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Law’s prohibition against discrimination because of sex.   

Will protests, demonstrations, national holidays, and Supreme Court decisions eliminate bias and discrimination?  No.  Have these events raised our collective awareness? I would like to think that we are finally realizing that the freedoms some of us enjoy are not, and have not been, equally enjoyed by all. This is a good week to reflect on that. Consider what you can do and what you will do.

Answer the Question You Were Asked

“When will you need the funds by?” asked the teller. “It’s okay. I’ll pay the bill from another account,” the customer responded. Interesting comment and information, but it didn’t answer the simple question the teller asked.

Have you ever encountered this frustration? Perhaps when you call a help desk and ask a simple question and receive a data dump of information that doesn’t succinctly answer your question and you’re still left to your own resources—and frustration—to figure out the answer.

Listening is such a critical, but overlooked, part of communication.  As we discuss in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook, it’s a three-part process. First, you receive the message from the speaker. Next, you process the message. Take it in and understand what you’ve heard so you know what’s being said or asked. Finally, you answer. If you’ve understood what the speaker asked, you’ll respond in a way that confirms she was, in fact heard. When this occurs, progress and productivity will follow, rather than frustration and stress. If you didn’t understand what the speaker asked, then ask for clarification. 

Clarifying skills reduce ambiguity and establish certainty. You can use statements and questions such as:

• What I think you are saying is…..
• Could you give me an example of ….?
• I’m not sure I understand. Could you repeat that?
• Could you tell me more about….?

Chief Justice John Marshall once said, “To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well.” When we listen, we show that we have the utmost respect for the other person. We are able to get good information and give good information.  We also save time, increase productivity, and avoid conflict.

April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month. April 2020 has been particularly stressful for everyone. We are all dealing with the effects of Covid-19. Take the time to stop and listen. Get the right information and give good responses.  Stay well and safe.