Curious about Conflict?

 

Since we’ve written two books about conflict, The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook and The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book, we’ve done a number of interviews on the subject. To end Workplace Conflict Awareness Month, we’re going to share some of our favorite questions with some updated answers. 

Question: What are some tips you have for managers and business owners on handling conflict within their businesses whether it’s with their employees or other business associates? 

Answer:  Conflict is often creativity trying to happen, but keep in mind that creativity is a process. Creativity can bring fresh ideas into the organization. So, don’t always be quick to avoid conflict, unless it becomes destructive.  

Value and manage the relationships in your workforce. Everyone makes contributions and brings different ideas. Welcome new and different perspectives.  Well-managed conflict can be very positive in moving relationships and the organization along.

Finally, identify the problem at the root of the conflict so you’re certain you’re addressing the right issue.  Ask good questions and give good information.  Don’t get hung up on extraneous and irrelevant facts that have nothing to do with the issue. Resolving a conflict is really solving a problem.

Question: You mentioned well-managed conflicts. What are some ways you can assure a conflict is a well-managed one?

Answer: Listening is key to maintaining good relationships and getting good information. In a well-managed conflict, people share varying ideas, and the others should be listening without judgment, and not thinking how they are going to respond to the speaker.  If you stop and acknowledge “I’m going to hear what he or she is say without getting defensive or argumentative,” you can have some pretty amazing results. 

Take the time to really listen to each other. In doing so, it may occur to you that you never thought about what the other person is saying, and that may spark a good discussion. 

If you’re asked a question, pay attention and answer the question that’s asked.  Giving information that’s not relevant is frustrating and can derail an otherwise effective conversation.

Question:  Organizational change is constant in today’s business environment.  How can managers help employees deal with change to minimize conflict?

Answer: “Spring is a lovely reminder of how beautiful change can truly be.” And in 2021, spring has never looked brighter after a year-long pandemic that we’re emerging from.

Change can be uncomfortable for everyone, but it can also bring new energy into the organization. The challenge is getting through it. We’ve experienced lots of changes in 2020, and organizations are preparing for new ones as people head back to work.

Managers must recognize that people respond to change in different ways. Don’t forget that every individual employee has different needs during these times. Listen carefully when change is announced in your organization so you are comfortable explaining the change to your employees. 

Be honest with employees and explain what is driving the change. Communicate realistic expectations. For example, if your organization is moving to new working arrangements, employees will want to know where they fit in a changing organization. Be flexible and ready to adjust expectations as things progress. 

To learn more about our books on conflict management, visit our website at https://www.bigbookofhr.com/the-conflict-books

What’s a Manager’s Role in Conflict?

It is Conflict Awareness Month, and you may be seeing a lot of articles and posts about ways to manage conflict in the workplace. One of the parts of conflict that is frequently overlooked is the role managers play in conflict between their team members. Should a manager jump in and try to resolve conflict or not?  

Managers often find themselves trapped in the middle of a situation, a situation or issue that is not theirs to solve. What’s a manager to do?  A manager doesn’t necessarily own every issue – the employees do. Here are five tips to help managers understand their role in and the best approach for dealing with workplace conflict:

• Know when and how to intervene. Different circumstances call for different responses. If one employee’s lack of performance is preventing other employees from getting their jobs done, the manager has a direct role to play. He must address performance deficiencies of that team member. If an employee is struggling because of issues outside the workplace, then expert help, such as an employee assistance program, should be suggested.

• Give your employees the space to grow. Employees need the freedom and authority to solve problems that relate to their work. Help them to learn conflict management techniques and develop problem-solving skills. As a manager, take advantage of this training yourself and model the techniques and skills you learn. Think of the positive impact for your organization when your workforce is skilled in avoiding the negative impact of unresolved conflict. 

• Recognize that tension, egos, and emotions often get in the way. Managers have an interest in developing good working relationships among team members. You should define the problem and the impact it’s having in the workplace. Don’t discount the impact of emotions. Sometimes they are the person’s passion around an issue. Help employees control and balance emotions so they don’t interfere with resolution.  

• Strengthen your own facilitation skills. You are often a neutral observer to a conflict. This is a great vantage point from which you can assist by guiding employees through a mediated discussion. Meet with employees, define roles, and set ground rules. The employees are the primary players, not you. They will be asking questions of each other and proposing solutions. You won’t offer advice, opinions or solutions, even if asked. You’re there to keep the discussion on track.

• Optimize conflict – it’s often creativity and innovation trying to happen. Employees close to the work often have great ideas for better solutions. Help them brainstorm, evaluate and priorities these ideas. When people sit down and talk, calmly and rationally, great information and viewpoints are exchanged. Working relationships are strengthened. Embrace the point of view that conflict is essential in the workplace if it’s part of a creative and engaged culture that wants the organization to grow and thrive. 

To learn more about our books on conflict management, visit our website at https://www.bigbookofhr.com/the-conflict-books

Imagination & Creativity - A Tip From The Manager’s Answer Book

Did you ever think about what gives you a different perspective?  Is it a new setting, or situation, or circumstance? Did you ever hear people say that they’re most creative when they are not at work? There’s something about stepping out of your usual routine and environment that allows new ideas to flood our brains.  When you expand your perspective, you expand your horizons as well. 

In 2020, we’ve found ourselves in new and different situations and circumstances. These days people are not at their usual place of work, but are still working, and working amidst distractions and interruptions. Enough to stifle anyone’s creativity, but it’s certainly bringing a new perspective to the way we do things. To paraphrase the title of a Tony Schwartz book, the way we used to work isn’t working anymore. 

Manager’s Tip:  During these difficult times, don’t lose your perspective. Opportunities can grow out of chaos and crisis. Potential can be unlocked creating positive and lasting change for your organization. It’s the time for new ideas and energy, for taking action, and for putting people first. You just have to expand your perspective. One silver lining I see from this pandemic, it will retire, forever, that tired phrase we’ve always done it that way!

As leaders in your organization, you recognize that creativity and innovation are critical – whether it’s developing new products or services or just finding improved ways of doing things.  You want nurture that innovative self inside each and every employee. You

need to start by letting your employees know that you are open to new ideas and suggestions and that you value their creativity. However, recognize that in these times, idea generation is going to take more time and effort. Be patient. Let the process be organic. 

You can read more about imagination and creativity on page 98 of The Manager’s Answer Book a proud 2020 Winner of the Next Generation Indie Book Award. The Manager’s Answer Book is available from Amazon -- https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz - Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookstore.

And remember “What you imagine you create.”

American Ingenuity

The theme for this year’s National Book Festival is American Ingenuity. Sponsored by the Library of Congress and held in Washington, DC, the Festival was originally held outdoors on the National Mall. In 2014 it moved to the Washington Convention Center. Among the reasons for that move was protection from both heat and rain for festival goers. Barbara and I can relate to that reason. One year, we stood in line on an oppressively hot, humid day to meet David McCullough. Despite the weather, the experience was superb. 

It should be no surprise that the 2020 Festival will make another move to a virtual format necessitated by the COVID-19 crisis. Ironically, the theme of American Ingenuity now takes on a whole new meaning. As reported by the Washington Post on May 28, 2020, American Ingenuity is “a quality that will be required to effectively reimagine the event in a new virtual format.” A silver lining growing out of this pandemic is that the Festival can now reach a wider, global audience and “demonstrate how authors and their stories help to connect and illuminate the world.” Mark the dates—this year’s Festival will be held the weekend of September 25-27.

Ingenuity and creativity can grow out of crisis. The world of books and book publishing, where Barbara and I spend a great deal of time, is no exception.

BookBaby is a firm that helps authors partner with professionals to ease the process of self-publishing. We met their president, Steven Spatz, at a Writer’s Digest Conference and have been following the company ever since. They offer a wide array of services to authors and turn out quality products, all the things we were looking for in a publishing partner. Now, as we get closer to self-publishing our next book, we are more excited about working with them. Here’s why.

BookBaby and its sister company, Disc Makers, which serves independent musicians much the same way BookBaby serves independent authors, joined the battle against the COVID-19 virus.  Recognizing the urgent need for protective face shields, manufacturing engineers and operations pros came up with a prototype within two days. Supplies were ordered, specs were finalized, and workstations were set up on a Monday. Manufacturing started the next day. Employees from both companies—folks who work behind the scenes in production, packaging, and administration roles—became part of the effort and joined the production process. Instead of worrying about surviving and saving jobs, at the height of production, the companies began to worry if they had enough staff to fill the demand for the face shields. As Tony van Veen, CEO of Disc Makers said in a video, “it’s the first time in our 74-year history that we are literally saving lives with the products we make.” Talk about American Ingenuity.  

Speaking of BookBaby, Barbara and I will be working with them to get our next book, They Did What? Unbelievable Tales from the Workplace, self-published. We’ve introduced you to Maryanne, the main character, with some stories over the past months. The book is coming out later this year. We’ll keep you updated on our progress.

Getting Ready for 2020

There seems to be something about years that end in zeros that get more attention than those that don’t. Like the tweet reminding us that there are only a certain number of days left in the decade and to make them count.  We have no idea why this is, but since 2020 is fast approaching, it’s time to give thought about what to do differently in the year ahead. We don’t mean those pesky resolutions.  We mean big questions, such as:

• Who and what might inspire us in 2020?
• What do we want to learn in 2020?
• How can we contribute to make the world a better place in 2020?

For any of us, the first thing that needs to happen is to clear out some of the current noise to make room for more creativity. When we focus our attention on daily activities—routine tasks that we think are important but maybe aren’t that critical—we don’t allow time for creative thought or learning.

Jettison some of the activities that eat up so much time, so we can add new and exciting adventures.  Get rid of some things we don’t need to do.  For Barbara, maybe this is the year to take that French class she’s been talking about for years. For Cornelia, maybe traveling with her husband. For both of us, 2020 will be the year for us to publish a new and very different book. What about you?

In 2020, let new ideas inspire you. We plan to research and uncover some podcasts and blogs to not only follow but contribute to. Following a few people like Brene Brown and Seth Godin will provide inspiration and lots to think about. Like most writers, we are avid readers, so we’ll likely put together lists of books to read for pleasure, for research, and for life-long learning.  What about you?

Then there is the really big question—what am I going to do to make our world a better place? It’s so easy to put that aside. What can I do? I’m just one person? Italicized 

While that may be true, one person can make a difference in our world. Think about 16-year-old Greta Thunberg. She’s an environmental activist whose work on climate change has gained international recognition at the United Nations and so many other places.  She’s making a real impact on the world, and she’s a teenager! 

We live in a chaotic world, and since 2020 is a presidential election year in the U.S., it stands to reason it will be a time of great change and potential animosity.  Maybe each of us can contribute to making the world less chaotic in 2020 by being a better listener and treating everyone with kindness and respect. What about you?

Barbara and Cornelia

Creativity - Use It or Lose It

I recently read a quote from Maya Angelou that I can’t stop thinking about.  She said, “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”

She’s absolutely right – as if I’d ever disagree with someone as talented as Ms. Angelou.

When it comes to business, don’t we want our employees to be as creative as possible—unless their job requires they a task that is highly specific—like a surgeon.  Not sure I want my surgeon being too innovative while removing my appendix!

So, if creativity is to be encouraged, let’s talk specifics about how managers can maximize the creativity their employees possess.

To get started, managers should let employees know that they are open to hearing them and genuinely seeking new ideas and approaches. And if your team brings new ideas to you, listen and withhold judgment before you agree or shoot the new idea down.

We’ve talked before in this blog about avoiding phrases like, “No, that won’t work here” or “But we’ve always done it this way” or “We tried that in 2000 and it failed miserably.”   Nothing will shut down creativity like being told what you’re proposing is a bad idea.

Encourage your employees to take a step back from the routine work and imagine how it could be better. It is so easy to get caught up in just getting things done and not consider how something might be improved.

Try reserving one staff meeting a month to hold a classic brainstorming session. Start by setting ground rules that should include things like:

• Be specific about the topic you want ideas about. Let people know ahead of time so they can come with their thoughts and ideas
• Get as many ideas out before you analyze each one
• Don’t criticize someone’s idea
• Get everyone involved.  Don’t let one or two people dominate the session.  Encourage your introverts to participate
• Make it fun. Play music. Use colored markers and sticky notes.  Liven things up

Odds are if you encourage creativity you will get it from your team and remember the words of Maya Angelou, “The more you use, the more you have.”

Busy is Not the Point

If you don’t follow the great Seth Godin on social media, I highly recommend you start today. He always makes me think.

For example, recently he posted this -- “There are no points for being busy -- busy is not the point.”

This really resonated with me!  I frequently tell people that I don’t just like to be busy. I like to be “crazy busy”.  But as I reflect on my own life, I think I am guilty of thinking being busy in and of itself is a good thing. After reading Seth’s post, I realize I should be refocusing on being productive and being creative. In other words, busy is not the point! 

I know I do this a lot -- I stay busy doing something that I enjoy doing rather than starting a project that I’m not as interested in or just don’t want to do.  It’s another example of why being busy is not the point.

The point is how productive you are – that is, working on things that need to be accomplished.    We all probably know people who are good at looking busy but who are really playing video games on line or shopping on QVC!  Appearing to be busy is also not the point.

If you’ve ever taken a time management class or read a book on how to maximize your time, you probably heard that we all have the very same number of hours in a day or a week to use and there isn’t a thing we can do to gain more hours.  We can only learn how to better use the time available!

I want to be clear -- this is not a blog about time management -- it’s about time maximizing! If you want to maximize your time, consider these two questions:

• How can I make sure I’m not just doing stuff to show activity or avoiding doing something else?  
• How can I use my time to do the things that matter?

Here’s the big lesson for me (and I hope for you) about thinking busy is the point -- learning to say no can make all the difference in the world! When I first started consulting, I said yes to anything anyone asked me to do because I thought if I said no, they’d never ask me again.  I quickly learned that was very faulty thinking, but I don’t think I’ve truly learned how important it is to be comfortable in saying no when what is being asked doesn’t fit into my long-term goals.

Being clear about those goals really makes a difference when you’re asked to take on a new task or responsibility. If it will move your forward, say yes! Consider that saying no allows you to build in time so that if something comes up that you want or need to do, you can say yes!

Many times, what matters isn’t work -- it’s spending time with family or volunteering at a soup kitchen or even having fun.  But if we are so hung up on being busy, we probably are missing out on some things that are a lot more significant in our lives.

Don’t, as Seth Godin says, “be busy being busy, instead of doing what’s important.” 

Big Sky – Big Ideas

“There’s so much sky here,” my friend exclaimed.  “No more than where you live,” I answered.  “The difference is that you can see more of it in the west.”  Where I live now – with wide open spaces and the ability to see over 100 miles from my backyard – is much different from where I used to live – where he still lives – with trees obscuring your line of site and blocking the ability to see as much of the sky or distances as far as I now can.  

Here in New Mexico the topography is different than the topography in Virginia.  The first time I lived here I used to say that I’d never seen the horizon on land – just at the beach where the water met the sky.  That probably wasn’t true, but I marveled at how wherever I looked, I could see the sky touching the earth.  This new horizon – or view of it – gave me a different perspective.

Did you ever hear people say that they’re most creative when they are not at work? There’s something about stepping out of your usual routine and environment that allows new ideas to flood our brains.  When you expand your perspective, you expand your horizons as well. 

What do you do to expand your perspective? How do you break free from your routine and environment in order to find your creative self?  Some people crave solitude and serenity, others the bustle of big cities. The fact is, you can find energy and creativity in different places and situations – you just have to expand your perspective!

As leaders in your organization, you recognize that creativity and innovation are critical – whether it’s developing new products or services or just finding improved ways of doing things.  You want nurture that innovative self inside each and every employee. One way you can encourage that is to have tech-free zones within the workplace, or tech-free times such as no emails or texting at certain times, days, over weekends, or on vacation.  Insist that your team members take the time to clear their minds and broaden their individual perspective.  

You can read more about innovation on page 98 of The Manager’s Answer Book.  And remember “What you imagine you create.”