The Real or Perceived Problem?

Shortly after The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook was published, Barbara and I were part of a panel discussion.  One of the panelists asked the audience if they thought it was the real problem or the perceived problem that was important. Her opinion: it was the perceived problem that mattered most. It was all we could do to not interrupt and were relieved when an audience member challenged her.

I thought of this recently when I was helping a company with an employee complaint. One of the senior leaders had insightful thoughts about the situation. He explained that the organization was undergoing many changes—changes to process and systems. This was leaving the door open for what he termed a plethora of perception. As hard as they tried to present information about the changes to the workforce—to present the reality—the leadership team was constantly checking in on what everyone’s perception of the situation was. But in the end, he said, you can’t undo perception. 

That’s so true, and perception often intersects with conflict. It doesn’t mean, however, that perception overrules real facts. We use an example in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook about a restaurant owner responding to a customer’s complaint and drawing a conclusion about which staff member was at fault. He didn’t bother to get all the facts, and his conclusion was wrong. During this period of dealing with COVID-19, we are all likely hearing comments and opinions about other people’s actions. Here’s an example I read in the paper, a comment made about an observation in the grocery store. Is the woman buying face cream buying something that is really essential? My response: Maybe it is. You don’t have all the information. So don’t be quick to judge or form conclusions, especially in the workplace, and especially if you’re judging or drawing conclusions about co-workers. Remember, too, if you take action based on a conclusion that is not accurate, you are accountable for those actions you take.

Getting all the facts helps us to understand the problem we’re trying to solve or the conflict we are trying to resolve. Perceived facts are often rooted in assumptions and perceptions. Absent having all (or any of) the facts, assumptions are made and erroneous conclusions result. That’s why it’s critical to question, probe, and clarify—to get to the real problem.

Cornelia Gamlem